Promises

Hello! Do you love Robert Pattinson? You do? Me too. Let's be friends. Being my friend comes with a warning, however. I have no fucking clue what I am doing. Because of this I will need a small amount of patience. I also say the word fuck too fucking much, so you should probably be over the age of like 70 and be widowed and half deaf to listen to me. But I yam what I yam. Don't judge! You should also be aware that this will not be an up to the minute news blog. There are so many that do that way better than I ever could. I also don't give a rats ass about gossip. Therefore I will not sully my blog or the great Pattinson name by repeating the insane, money-hungry ramblings of the rag mags. All I care about is Robert Fucking Pattinson (say it with reverence).

I love Rob, he's my muse, and he brings me much amusesment. Hence, the blog name. I plan for this to be a happy place filled with heavenly Robness.

Oh, I see that's how you like it, too. Well, there is plenty more where that come from. I have some other cool things planned including a little sumpin' I am calling eRobica. Yep, you know you gotta stick around for that shizz.

Now, let's be serious for a sec while I make my man feel at home.

*clears throat to use serious voice*

Rob, since this blog will be about you. I feel I should make you some promises.

1. 
   
   I promise to not spread rumors.
   
   


2. 
   
   I promise that I have nothing bad to say about you.
   
   


3. 
   
   I promise not to stalk you. (internet excluded)
   
   


4. 
   
   I promise that should we ever meet I will not scream at you. (screaming your name should be done in the privacy of your bed)
   
   


5. 
   
   I promise not to call you Edward.
   
   


6. 
   
   I promise not to ask you to bite me.
   
   


7. 
   
   I promise not to ask about your hair.
   
   


8. 
   
   I promise not to ask about your relationships as the answers to such questions could crush me.
   
   

I promise that your happiness is my happy place and all I need from you is a smile.

That being said everyone shoould just prepare to move in to the RobMusement Park. Grab your sleeping bags and get cozy. Rob, you can bunk with me. *wink*