Let us give thanks for the Robporn we are about to recieve. For the drought is over and the multitude have feasted. Cries of joy ring through the streets. Our king has returned to us!
There are pics rolling in from all over the world and I'm such a fucking glutton. It became perfectly clear to my sleep depraved mind early this morning, when Vanity Fair released the second set of outtakes, that they are indeed up to fuckery. I'm not sure if they are trying to kill me kindly or make me the next octomom.
I mean damn, it's so blatantly obvious. Just look at the props that were used in this photoshoot. First, there's the lighthouse. Now is it just me, or is that not some type of code or phallyic symbol? Then they sit Rob in the floor *whispers* with his legs spread. What? He is! There's also a good sturdy pipe behind him and what looks to be quite a bit of rope. I'm just saying it's right there!
Instead of the photographer yelling out emotions (happy, sad, excited) for the actor during the shoot, I have this silly vision of them saying to Rob, "Ok fingerporn, hairporn... Makes me giggle. Coincidently this is also the recipe for a Robgasm. But I digress, back to Vanity Fair.
Quick, what's better than 1 Rob? Did anyone else notice how the lights sparkle and they are kind of shaped like...No? Ok, moving on. Seriously, this is stunning. I'll take this one framed please. Hmmm... I wonder if that counter will hold both of us? What am I talking about? Of course, it will!
I wanna know whose idea it was to have him only unbutton half of the shirt. This shit is not funny! Makes me all anxious. I went and bought some depends today and inspected this from every angle. I feel confident reporting that it is impossible to see any further inside that shirt. Damn! *sigh* This is what blue balls feels like for guys.
Then we got pics coming in daily from various events. Tokyo, for instance, and I can see Rob's not going to any help in easing the sexual tension whirling through the park. I'm looking at this expression on his face thinking that stock in panties and batteries are going to skyrocket. Hey, they can't track how much a person buys that stuff, can they? *cringes*
They say L.A.'s beautiful this time of year. Here's the proof. The scenary is quite exquisite. The atmosphere is...shall we say sultry? Forecast calls for sun with a high chance of raining panties.
Lord, help us he just keeps looking better and better. Have you ever seen a balloon that's been blown up and then let go? How it bounces off the walls making a squeeling sound, then falls to floor limply? Rob has the same effect on me.
Warning, this photo should not be viewed by those with heart problems. Side effects include, but are not limited to loss of ability to stop moaning, amnesia, uncontrollable drooling, inability to keep knees together, and abnormal amounts of wetness in the groin area. (Note: the depends didn't help.) If you experience arousal lasting longer than four hours, please do not contact anyone as this is normal.
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