The Bill of Rob

This is a repost from last year that I felt was relevant to some of my best friends right now.

I've been operating under the assumption that we are living in a free country; free to think and feel and do as we damn well please. Apparently, there are hostiles among us. They spread contempt everywhere they roam. They speak malicious words like unhealthy. They tell us we spend too much time thinking about Rob. They declare their self righteous disdain of our amusement and discount our emotions.

Are we going to let them tell us how to think and feel? Should we stop doing the things that make us happy to please another? If they really care about us, why would they want us to? Do we care what they do in their spare time? Are we hurting anyone or breaking the law?

Fuck no!

We are a peaceful group surrounding a peaceful man. A Rob loving, fanfic reading, panty poofing unity of sisterhood. We shall not be subjected to condescention and patronization. It is an atrocious infringement of civil liberties. A social injustice.

Maybe these haters have too much time on their hands. Maybe they have deflection on their minds. Maybe they have skeletons in their closet. Maybe people who live in glass whore houses shouldn't throw stones.

It is time to arm ourselves ladies.

They want to be friends with a Rob addict, there are rules.

We have a constitutional right to Robporn!

PURPOSE: To be left alone with our Robsession.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE EVERYWHERE A FANGIRL SWOONS:

Section 1. In order to be granted access to the special skills and superior knowledge of the Robsessed, one must be open-minded, understand the word "normal", and have the ability to squeeee properly.

Section 2. The above mentioned open mindedness shall include keeping your damn mouth shut when we wallpaper the bedroom with Rob posters, spend excess amounts of money on Robazines we consider to be collector's editions, or when we insert his name into every conversation that you initiate.

Section 3. The above mentioned understanding of the word "normal" entails that you not disagree with or insult us, what we do in the name of love, or Robert Pattinson.

Section 4. The above mentioned ability to squeee properly consists of showing true enthusiasm for all things Pattinson.

Section 5. All laws or parts of laws in conflict with this act can kiss my ass.

Section 6. This act shall become effective upon signature and will be revoked upon failure of compliance to support and respect Mr. Pattinson.

AMENDMENT I

We have the freedom to exercise speech, to crucify the press and to peaceably assemble, and to pound your ass for grievances.

AMENDMENT II

A well regulated militia has been put into place shall we deem it necessary to the security of our beloved. Simply stated; we take care of our own.

AMENDMENT III

No one shall, in time of peace, nor in time of war, touch or comment on Rob/Twi treasures (merchandise), without the consent of the owner.

AMENDMENT IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable ridicule and general fuckery, shall not be violated.

AMENDMENT V

We shall not be mocked for the the things from which we draw enjoyment. We have committed no crimes. We won't be confronted by your accusations. We don't give a shit if you have witnesses. We waive the right to assistance from counsel, the only one with the problem is the haters.

AMENDMENT VI

Failure to comply with the above set laws may result in excessive bail requirement, excessive fines imposed, and/or cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Potential Friend of a Rob Addict Signature_________________________________________________________________________