Good Times

What's better than Pee-Wee Herman screaming "Attica, Attica!" as he gets dragged away by the cops?

Having araeo (Alison) with me. My constant readers will know how much I love her fanfic stories and appreciate her sense-of-humor. Turns out we are possibly soulmates. We did this in my usual fucked- up, random fashion. *shrugs shoulders* It's the only way I know. We may have drank a little and laughed a lot as we discussed our favorite things; stoner movies, Chuck Norris, fanfic, music, and this guy.

Allison's comments are in red. Mine are in black and blue cause wordpress thinks it's funny to fuck with me.

10 best stoner movies ever? I'll start us off with:

Cheech and Chong: Up In Smoke- because its classic, I crack up just watching Cheech walk. This movie kills me every time. The car scene is fucking win - that huge joint laced with dog shit has me rolling. Love Cheech's freak out and Chong accidentally gives him a handful of acid. "Hope you're not busy for like a month, man!" And, as always, the green van made of weed... and they don't even know it. Last, but not least: Sgt. Stedenko. That is all.

Billy Madison-In my opinion, everything that Adam Sandler does is gold! When he dances up the stairs to Dream Lover I loose my fucking mind! Speaking of Dream Lover,

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Does this prove that every topic will eventually lead me back to Rob? I know this song is a bit cheesy, but it takes me back. *Wayne's World flasback hands*

Anyone that's read Work In Progress, knows of my unconditional love for Billy Madison. Favorite scene: the flaming dog poo on Old Man Clemens's porch. "He called the SHIT poop!" As for all things leading back to Rob, I think that surely should be an official theory, or at least a corollary or something. In my opinion, it's a fucking law of nature. And I wanna be Rob's snack pack. *falls on knees* We're not worthy!

Half Baked-Oh sweet mother of side splitting pearl! I have this whole movie memorized. I wore out my first copy of the DVD. This is Dave Chappelle at his greatest. I lose it every time he signs for that first pound of weed and looks like he's jizzing in his pants. Plus, I've always wanted to quit a job Scarface style. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU cool, fuck you, I'm out!"

And you know, this is an official stoner movie, with the Tommy Chong seal of approval. My favorite parts: Harlan Williams-"You can't mess with me, I'm somebody's bitch", anything Jim Brewer says, and when they get so high they fly out the window...*falls out of chair holding sides*...even the dog!

I laughed till I cried the first time I seen that part. I so want to quit a job that way, but hell, you catch me in the right mood (about 4 days a month) and I'll walk up in the grocery store and yell it.

Harold and Kumar -3 words Neil. Patrick. Harris. You forgot two more important words: White Castle. Oh, holy lord, nothing is better for a case of the munchies than a sack of belly bombers. My intestines are cringing at the thought, but my mouth is saying, "bring me the stinky, oniony manna from the heavens masquerading as a square piece of meat with five holes in it..."

Burger Shack Employee: "Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this motherfucker down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfucker down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle."

Fast Times at Ridgemont High-"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz and I'm fine" Why is it that all I can think of right now is Judge Reinhold whacking off? And Sean Penn is in there somewhere too... Yikes, must move on. *moving on*

Grandma's Boy: Video games, a naked weed seller, a shaman of questionable ethnicity that only speaks in clicks and grunts, and fucking JP. Not to mention the cringe-worthy yet hilarious scene of a grown man jacking off to a Lara Croft action figure, who is then interrupted by his friend's mother...and he unloads all over her. Holy. Shit.

I love these guys from the Sandler movies. There are a fuckton of good lines in movie, but some things you just gotta hear for yourself.

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DAZED AND CONFUSED!!: I love, love, love this movie for lots of reasons, including an interesting theory of George and Martha Washington as stoners, and... Matthew McConaughey, pretty much playing himself, except, sadly, he's not naked and playing the bongo drums. Yeah, that Martha Washington was a hip, hip lady. hee hee

PINEAPPLE FUCKING EXPRESS!!: James Franco, driving the cop car, with red slurpee all over the place, and his foot through the windshield? I just love Saul describing the Pineapple Express strain of weed: "It's almost a shame to smoke it...it's like killing a unicorn." *cue crazy ff fangirl giggle* Holy cock! Best fight scene evah!!!

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Dude, Where's My Car?: *Pats Jesse and Chester on the head* You two are sooooo stupid, but so damn hilarious!! The tattoo scene... Their matching rapper outfits... God forbid we forget the lady at the Chinese food drive thru. "AAAANNNNDDD THEEEEEN?" Best part of this movie is the tattoos, "dude", "sweet", let the male bonding aka fighting commence!

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny: Satan is played by Dave Grohl, and they steal his horn to create a bong. What more do you need?

I haven't seen this movie, but I love Jack Black hard! And Dave Grohl is just good grungey fun.

Your best Chuck Norris quotisms?

Oh, God. I could go on forever...

So, some of my faves:

1. Chuck Norris once punched a guy in the SOUL.

2. Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. THIS WOULD DEFINITELY APPLY TO ROB. JS.

3. Google won't search for Chuck Norris, because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

4. Chuck Norris doesn't use eye drops. He uses Tabasco sauce.

5. The Virgin Mary saw Chuck Norris in her grilled cheese sandwich.

6. If Chuck Norris went up against Edward Cullen, the world would EXPLODE.

7. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

8. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

9. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.. Too bad he's never cried.

10. Chuck Norris once accidentally spit on a tractor trailer. That tractor trailer is now Optimus Prime.

My best Robisms

1. Robert Pattinson doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

2. Robert Pattinson sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and dazzling ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Rob dazzled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

3. Some people wear Zac Efron pajamas. Zac Efron wears Robert Pattinson pajamas.

4. There are in fact five elemental forces; Strong, weak, electromagnetic, gravitation and Robert Pattinson.

5. Light is not the absence of darkness. It is the presence of Robert Pattinson.

6. Robert Pattinson doesn't have a bad memory. Anything he forgets never happened.

7. Robert Pattinson knows what Willis is talkin' about.

8. Robert Pattinson will not "be right back after these messages." He'll be back when he's good and ready. And you will be grateful for it.

9. Robert Pattinson knows what's in the secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, after all he's 5 of them.

10. Robert Pattinson knows where the beef is.

Now, let's talk FF

How did you get involved in the Twilight world? What led to you writing fanfic? I traveled a lot for my previous job, so I was on a lot of airplanes and needed new reading material. This was around the time that they were promoting the movie, so I picked up a copy at the airport, thinking, "Shit, this is a teen vampire book... that means no sex!" I gave it a go anyway, and the rest is history. Midnight Sun, unfinished as it is, is STILL my favorite of them all. It's all about Edward for me. Let's just say I was extremely disappointed in BD... which led me to fanfic. I actually only started writing so I could get the required amount of words to be a Beta reader. I'm a grammar nazi and delight in pointing out the flaws in others' work (kidding). Thus, Work in Progress was born, and I discovered that writing my own stuff was WAY more fun than being a beta. Now I'm hooked.

Do you have certain music you listen to while writng? I love nineties alternative and grunge, so my playlists are full of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Rage, Tool, and Weezer. I also love ska/punk, like Rancid, Less than Jake, NOFX and the Offspring. I also have a love for newer emo... to my husband's eternal shame. Brand New owns me. I'm in love with Muse, and I was before I even knew about Twilight. So yeah, SM and I have that in common, but that's about it, aside from my insane caricatures of her characters.

Fuck yes, I love me some Nirvana, Offspring, and Weezer! And...I'm back to Rob.

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I tend to listen to the happier/faster stuff while writing WiP, just because it's always on the crazy side. For The Ritual and Memory in Blood, it was emo and suicide grunge all the way.

How did you get the ideas for your stories? Work in Progress was inspired by my husband. He IS Emmett in that story. He took me to a Brazilian steakhouse for Valentine's day, and I kept thinking about a human Emmett devouring meat like it was running out and he'd never have any more. Bella IS me. My ovaries scream at me when I look at pics of Rob. Who would have thought I could turn that into a story?

For The Ritual, I got drunk on absinthe one night and came up with it. Absinthe was so demonized, and had this reputation for being the drink of the eccentric artsy type. Hemingway loved it, and he sort of inspired the dark, depressing side of Bella's character. I wanted to give the angst a try, and I hadn't read many fics where Bella is the self-loathing character... there you have it.

My next multi chapter fic will be based on Memory in Blood, the O/S I wrote for the Darkward Vampfic Contest as an example. I've had this idea forever of combining my two absolute favorite fictional characters: Edward Cullen and Dexter Morgan. *stares off into space...* Sweet baby jeebus, I want to be the filling in a Michael C. Hall and Rpattz sandwich.

Are you a professional writer? No, but I want to be. Maybe someday...writing fanfic is fun and great practice.

Top fanfic stories you have read and enjoyed? Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003, Boycotts and Barflies by vjgm, Behind the Clouds by EchoesOfTwilight, and Carpe Noctem and Fiat Lux by Queenofgrey.

Is Rob your Edward? ALWAYS. Who the hell else would be??

Team Edward? Is there any other team? Seriously. Team Jacob = Team Jailbait or Team Fetusface (thank you eye_ree). Amen!

araeo -Women everywhere are wishing they were this cigarette right now. Me- *looks up at sky* Star light, star bright...

araeo -Ali... I'm sad. I need comfort. Can I bury my face in your bewbs? Me- I think it might be more comforting if he put his head between my knees. Oops that would just be comforting to me, I guess. Well, turn about is fair play.

araeo -"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It WOULD be awfully easy to rip this shirt right off of me." Me -Riiiiiipppppppppp iiittttt!!!!!!!!

araeo -The tongue: classified as a deadly weapon in more than 30 countries worldwide. Me -*raises hand* I would be willing to be a subject and test this theory out.

araeo He holds that mic like that because he fucking knows what it does to us!!! ungh. Me - Fuck!! *moans* Do you think he knows the power he has over me? *shrugs shoulders* Meh...who cares?

A huge thank you to araeo for being with me. Go read her stories and leave her some love.