Well - as usual nothing is quite the same as the headline. The headline is that a major review has been completed which has resulted in Britain no longer giving taxpayer money to countries that don't need it.
The review was ordered by International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell and. as you might suspect, he's not going to put himsef out of a job. Apparently sixteen countries have been identified as no longer in poverty and so they will no longer get our money. They include Russia, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Moldova, Bosnia, Iraq, Kosovo and Serbia.
Quite why were giving aid to Russia in the first place eludes me, but I digress...
Read on - Aid to India will be 'frozen'. Well, that'll bugger up their space program and nuclear power station building!
However, vast amounts of extra money - 30 per cent of the entire aid budget - will be pumped into unstable terrorist hotspots such as Yemen and Somalia, in a bid to help them to crack down on citizens exporting violence. Can I point out that the Yemenis seem to be keeping their violence at home at the moment.
So the aid budget is still ringfenced - it's just that we've decided to not give to some countries who don't need it and give to other countries that don't need it instead...
The total amount being spent on aid will soar from £7billion to £11billion in 2015 - at the same time as front-line public services here at home are being slashed.
Mr Mitchell said the plan was to 'buy results' rather than 'lob money at problems' - that is setting targets and stopping aid if they are not met. He is also likely to order the removal of funding from international organisations which have not delivered. For example, the £12million given to UN cultural body Unesco is likely to be axed.
'From now on we will only give aid where we can follow the money and ensure that the British taxpayer is getting value for money,' he said.
Sorry, old son, but as far as I can see, the British taxpayer is getting fuck all for his money!
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