Let's play "Fantasy Government"

In the event of a LabServative Democrat government who would you like to see in the cabinet ?

The rules are simple - people have to be real and alive, but other than that you can have anyone. After all, Gordon does it that way doesn't he? You can give reasons if you like for any or all, serious or satirical.

I will reward a generous prize for the winner. My decision is final. No appeals to the European Court will be allowed. The prize is 10p - so you can use it to phone someone who gives a shit...

Here are my selections for the Fantasy Cabinet. Let's see yours!

Prime Minister : David Cameron (a toff always looks good)
Deputy Prime Minister : Nick Clegg (lost the toss of a coin with Cameron)
Chancellor : Vince Cable (best man in the wrong party in my view)
Foreign Secretary : William Hague (no-one patronises foreigners quite like him)
Home Secretary : Nick Clegg (Labour used this post to keep people out of the way)
Business & Consumer Affairs : Esther Rantzen (obvious choice)
Justice : Norman Lamb (he's actually a lawyer, which I would have thought could be handy)
Environment : Dick Sawbridge (demonstrates practical knowledge in the field)
Transport : Jeremy Clarkson
Defense : John Prescott (no-one would dare attack us with him in charge!)
Speaker : Jeremy Paxman (if Paxo can't get them to shut up, no-one can)
Energy : Simon Hughes (one Nick got right)
Europe : Nigel Farage (talks bollocks, so should fit in well)
Health : Gerry Robinson (Is there actually a doctor in any of the three party teams?)
Pensions : Teresa May (I wanted Barbara Castle, but she's dead and it seems Dave got this one right)
Northern Ireland : Gordon Brown (with luck they may shoot the bugger)
Scotland : Alex Salmond (let's face it, he's got the job anyway)
Wales : John Redwood (did such a good job last time)
Education : David Laws (seems to me Nick got this one right too)
Chief Whip : Peter Mandelson (You need a nasty, sneeky underhand bugger in that job)

What do you think ?