Royal Wedding souvenirs

As our range of Papal Visit Souvenirs was so well received last year, here's a selection form our range of memorabilia for the forthcoming Royal nuptials...

How would you dress the Royal Couple for their big day?

This super dress up dolly book contains all you need to make the couple look simply spiffing at the Abbey, at the party and even contains some saucy little outfits for their big night.

Made from quality cardboard, it's also eco-friendly so it won't offend the father of the Groom.

Yours for a tasteful £4.99

OK - so maybe you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth like the happy couple, but why not treat yourself to a pair now.

Emblazoned with Wills and Kate's pictures, what better souvenir for a give away price of £19.99



Why not have a drink on Wills and Kate?

Royal beer mats to make your party go with a swing. Comes with a pack of waterproof crayons for that essential 'pencil on a moustache' moment that we all love after a few pints.

£24.99 a pack of 50


Every little - and not so little - girl out there would just love to be Kate's bridesmaid on the big day...

Well now you can pretend with this super make believe book. Choose your outfit, pick the flowers, colour it all in.

Make believe you were really there for just £9.99






Rekindle memories of your own first night together with this, the crowning glory of our special range.

This quality unisex T-shirt is tastefully decorated and adorned with a photograph of the bride and groom. The logo is specially selected to reflect what we all wish for them.

A bargain at only £19.99



Royal Wedding souvenirs

As our range of Papal Visit Souvenirs was so well received last year, here's a selection form our range of memorabilia for the forthcoming Royal nuptials...

How would you dress the Royal Couple for their big day?

This super dress up dolly book contains all you need to make the couple look simply spiffing at the Abbey, at the party and even contains some saucy little outfits for their big night.

Made from quality cardboard, it's also eco-friendly so it won't offend the father of the Groom.

Yours for a tasteful £4.99

OK - so maybe you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth like the happy couple, but why not treat yourself to a pair now.

Emblazoned with Wills and Kate's pictures, what better souvenir for a give away price of £19.99



Why not have a drink on Wills and Kate?

Royal beer mats to make your party go with a swing. Comes with a pack of waterproof crayons for that essential 'pencil on a moustache' moment that we all love after a few pints.

£24.99 a pack of 50


Every little - and not so little - girl out there would just love to be Kate's bridesmaid on the big day...

Well now you can pretend with this super make believe book. Choose your outfit, pick the flowers, colour it all in.

Make believe you were really there for just £9.99






Rekindle memories of your own first night together with this, the crowning glory of our special range.

This quality unisex T-shirt is tastefully decorated and adorned with a photograph of the bride and groom. The logo is specially selected to reflect what we all wish for them.

A bargain at only £19.99



Royal Wedding souvenirs go on sale!

Get your official limited edition souvenir mugs of the forthcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Makes the perfect Christmas gift!

Only £35 - and all proceeds go to the Royal Collection Trust
Sure to sell out fast, so order now.

Royal Wedding souvenirs go on sale!

Get your official limited edition souvenir mugs of the forthcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Makes the perfect Christmas gift!

Only £35 - and all proceeds go to the Royal Collection Trust
Sure to sell out fast, so order now.

Just the gift for Christmas...

Following the success of our range of Papal Visit souvenirs, here's our selection of must have presents for this Christmas :

MICROWAVABLE SLIPPERS

Do you suffer from cold feet and wish there was a simple way to keep them warm? Well now you can with our super slippers!

Just pop them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and they'll keep your tootsies warm for hours.

Only £14.99 with free delivery

GOLD LACED FIZZ

Worried about the credit crunch? Well stuff it! We all need a bit of bling to cheer us up so here's our quality sparkling wine laced with real flakes of edible gold.

Decadent or what?

Get stuck in for £29.99

STEALTH LAPTOP CASE

Don't be a sap and get caught lugging that valuable laptop around in it's expensive executive case - slip into something stealthier. This case is indistinguishable from a real envelope and only costs £16.99

Also available in manilla from your Post Office for 99p

2011 CALENDARS

Don't settle for just any ordinary boring calendar for the coming year - go for something different with one of the following :

* The Best of British Roundabouts
* Birmingham's Outer Circle Bus Route
* Her Majesty's Prisons

A great talking point for only £9.99 each

PLOP TRUMPS

Have you ever wondered if zebra poop is harder than pig plop? Or if doggy doo smells worse than kestrel crud? Of course you have. And that’s why you need Plop Trumps.

This game of one upmanship is complete shite and it's only £5.99



* * * Want to take a guess at how many of these you think are real? * * *

Just the gift for Christmas...

Following the success of our range of Papal Visit souvenirs, here's our selection of must have presents for this Christmas :

MICROWAVABLE SLIPPERS

Do you suffer from cold feet and wish there was a simple way to keep them warm? Well now you can with our super slippers!

Just pop them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and they'll keep your tootsies warm for hours.

Only £14.99 with free delivery

GOLD LACED FIZZ

Worried about the credit crunch? Well stuff it! We all need a bit of bling to cheer us up so here's our quality sparkling wine laced with real flakes of edible gold.

Decadent or what?

Get stuck in for £29.99

STEALTH LAPTOP CASE

Don't be a sap and get caught lugging that valuable laptop around in it's expensive executive case - slip into something stealthier. This case is indistinguishable from a real envelope and only costs £16.99

Also available in manilla from your Post Office for 99p

2011 CALENDARS

Don't settle for just any ordinary boring calendar for the coming year - go for something different with one of the following :

* The Best of British Roundabouts
* Birmingham's Outer Circle Bus Route
* Her Majesty's Prisons

A great talking point for only £9.99 each

PLOP TRUMPS

Have you ever wondered if zebra poop is harder than pig plop? Or if doggy doo smells worse than kestrel crud? Of course you have. And that’s why you need Plop Trumps.

This game of one upmanship is complete shite and it's only £5.99



* * * Want to take a guess at how many of these you think are real? * * *

Papal Visit souvenirs [3]

As promissed, here are some more items from our Dioclese.co.uk papal visit souvenir range. Today we concentrate on our range of special sex aids :

Prove to the bad boys that you're a good girl with these I Love the Pope knickers! When it gets right down to it, you know that sex before marriage is a big no no for us catholics and he's going to think twice before trying to rip these off of you!

Protect your virginity for just £22.99

And if the previous item just didn't do it for you, then better safe than sorry with these Benedict Condoms.

Available in five fruity flavours, there's a reminder from his Holiness on each packet that this really isn't what you should be doing. But then we all give in to a little temptation now and again...

Packet of 5 just £12.99

And if you're feeling tired and worn out after all that illicit sex you shouldn't be having, what could be better than a nice cold beer?

Brewed especially to help you celebrate the papal vist, why not relax with a pint or two of Pope's Special Ale.

Available for a limited period on draught at selected churches or order a six pack from us for only £11.99 - Hmmmm. that's nice...


Let's face it, there's nothing worse than the lingering smell of sweat and beer.

So if you don't want your parents or even your kids or partner to know what you've been up to, just fire up these delightful hand moulded incense scented Pope Benedict Candles...

Cover up all your sins for only £19.99

There's nothing better after a shag than a fag and the Flashing Pope Cigarette Dispenser is guaranteed to satisfy.

Just pull down on the staff and the cassock spreads and lifts to reveal a nicotine erection down below - if you get my drift...

And that's not all! Flip back the head to reveal a cigarette lighter.

Raise your spirits for just £39.99




(PS. Here's a little competition for you : Which of these past three days' items are real and which are not? See how many you can get right! Answers on Friday.)

Papal Visit souvenirs [3]

As promissed, here are some more items from our Dioclese.co.uk papal visit souvenir range. Today we concentrate on our range of special sex aids :

Prove to the bad boys that you're a good girl with these I Love the Pope knickers! When it gets right down to it, you know that sex before marriage is a big no no for us catholics and he's going to think twice before trying to rip these off of you!

Protect your virginity for just £22.99

And if the previous item just didn't do it for you, then better safe than sorry with these Benedict Condoms.

Available in five fruity flavours, there's a reminder from his Holiness on each packet that this really isn't what you should be doing. But then we all give in to a little temptation now and again...

Packet of 5 just £12.99

And if you're feeling tired and worn out after all that illicit sex you shouldn't be having, what could be better than a nice cold beer?

Brewed especially to help you celebrate the papal vist, why not relax with a pint or two of Pope's Special Ale.

Available for a limited period on draught at selected churches or order a six pack from us for only £11.99 - Hmmmm. that's nice...


Let's face it, there's nothing worse than the lingering smell of sweat and beer.

So if you don't want your parents or even your kids or partner to know what you've been up to, just fire up these delightful hand moulded incense scented Pope Benedict Candles...

Cover up all your sins for only £19.99

There's nothing better after a shag than a fag and the Flashing Pope Cigarette Dispenser is guaranteed to satisfy.

Just pull down on the staff and the cassock spreads and lifts to reveal a nicotine erection down below - if you get my drift...

And that's not all! Flip back the head to reveal a cigarette lighter.

Raise your spirits for just £39.99




(PS. Here's a little competition for you : Which of these past three days' items are real and which are not? See how many you can get right! Answers on Friday.)

Papal Visit souvenirs [2]

Following on the recent launch of our Dioclese.co.uk special papal souvenirs, here's some more items from our Pope Benedict 'Kiss the Ring Tour' range :

Feeling unclean? Then try our Benedict brand Pope on a Roap soap!

Guaranteed to reach the parts that other soaps cannot reach, this papal soap will cleanse you of all your sins and leave you feeling totally pure.

Please note this product is not suitable for use on the genital areas of young children

Yours for the trifling sum of £14.99

Get the most out of Pope Benedict's UK tour with our new publication 'Papal Visits for Dummies'.

This updated book gives you the invaluable insights you need. Learn how to get the best seats at personal appearences; how to ensure that your name is included in the papal blessing; how to obtain direct absolution for all your sins.

These and many, many more for only £49.99

Get the power of the Pope in your pocket with your very own Pope Benedict talking key ring.

Made from high quality genuine polyurethane, you can always rely on this Pope to absolve you from the rigours of everyday sinning. Just give him a little squeeze and hear the Pope announce 'In Nomine Patre, Te Absolvo!

A bargain at £15.99 - batteries not required (runs on faith)

Here a little novelty item sure to please!
You've seen those pens where you turn the it upside down and the girl's clothes fall off? Well, here's a chance to own your very own 'Naked Pope Pen'. Just turn it upside down, and watch that cassock fall away.

Breaks the ice at any party for only £9.99

Still trying for that perfect cocktail? Well, the answer is in the timing!

Just throw your intoxicating mixture into our '3 Hail Marys Cocktail Shaker' and shake away. The speaker in the bottom recites 3 Hail Marys at the perfect pace to ensure your cocktail pours out just the right moment.

A perfect drink and absolution all at the same time for just £39.99

Just watch this space for more items from our exciting range coming soon...

Papal Visit souvenirs [2]

Following on the recent launch of our Dioclese.co.uk special papal souvenirs, here's some more items from our Pope Benedict 'Kiss the Ring Tour' range :

Feeling unclean? Then try our Benedict brand Pope on a Roap soap!

Guaranteed to reach the parts that other soaps cannot reach, this papal soap will cleanse you of all your sins and leave you feeling totally pure.

Please note this product is not suitable for use on the genital areas of young children

Yours for the trifling sum of £14.99

Get the most out of Pope Benedict's UK tour with our new publication 'Papal Visits for Dummies'.

This updated book gives you the invaluable insights you need. Learn how to get the best seats at personal appearences; how to ensure that your name is included in the papal blessing; how to obtain direct absolution for all your sins.

These and many, many more for only £49.99

Get the power of the Pope in your pocket with your very own Pope Benedict talking key ring.

Made from high quality genuine polyurethane, you can always rely on this Pope to absolve you from the rigours of everyday sinning. Just give him a little squeeze and hear the Pope announce 'In Nomine Patre, Te Absolvo!

A bargain at £15.99 - batteries not required (runs on faith)

Here a little novelty item sure to please!
You've seen those pens where you turn the it upside down and the girl's clothes fall off? Well, here's a chance to own your very own 'Naked Pope Pen'. Just turn it upside down, and watch that cassock fall away.

Breaks the ice at any party for only £9.99

Still trying for that perfect cocktail? Well, the answer is in the timing!

Just throw your intoxicating mixture into our '3 Hail Marys Cocktail Shaker' and shake away. The speaker in the bottom recites 3 Hail Marys at the perfect pace to ensure your cocktail pours out just the right moment.

A perfect drink and absolution all at the same time for just £39.99

Just watch this space for more items from our exciting range coming soon...

Papal Visit souvenirs

To mark the visit of his Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to our shores in September, Dioclese.co.uk has launched a range of tasteful commerative merchandise.

Here's just a few items from our carefully chosen range :

Our limited edition Pope Money Box. Made from 100% authentic organic plastic, this very special box comes complete with two slots for your money so you can save one for yourself and another to give to God on Sunday!

Our price just £29.95

Made especially for us by our friends at Fanasonic, the Benedict-a-phone takes your messages while you are out and has the added benefit of giving all your callers a papal blessing personal recorded by the Pontif himself.

All this for a giveaway price of only £249.99!

Keep your sacred memories safe with this Pope Benedict USB memory stick. 

Guaranteed to impress all your geeky mates, this state of the art devices stores an almost limitless number of prayers and blessings for a truly miraculous price of only £1.99

Worried about your soufflés going flat? Burnt the Sunday dinner? No rise in your yorkshire puddings? Never worry about these things again thanks to our Pope Benedict chef's apron.

Made from highest quality PVC and decorated with a tasteful portrait of his Holiness, your cooking worries will be a thing of the past. With the representative of God on Earth looking on, your cooking will become truly blessed!

Great meals guaranteed for only £75.99!

Looking to impress your guests at that all important dinner party? Here's your chance with our special reserve 'Pope's Winery' wine!

And here's the clever bit : You don't have to make a choice between white and red, because this very special vintage comes as clear water with detailed instructions for turning it into the wine of your choice as you pour.

Miraculous, or what!? And even more when you find it's only £499.99 a bottle.

(Each bottle comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by Pope Benedict himself)

Papal Visit souvenirs

To mark the visit of his Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to our shores in September, Dioclese.co.uk has launched a range of tasteful commerative merchandise.

Here's just a few items from our carefully chosen range :

Our limited edition Pope Money Box. Made from 100% authentic organic plastic, this very special box comes complete with two slots for your money so you can save one for yourself and another to give to God on Sunday!

Our price just £29.95

Made especially for us by our friends at Fanasonic, the Benedict-a-phone takes your messages while you are out and has the added benefit of giving all your callers a papal blessing personal recorded by the Pontif himself.

All this for a giveaway price of only £249.99!

Keep your sacred memories safe with this Pope Benedict USB memory stick. 

Guaranteed to impress all your geeky mates, this state of the art devices stores an almost limitless number of prayers and blessings for a truly miraculous price of only £1.99

Worried about your soufflés going flat? Burnt the Sunday dinner? No rise in your yorkshire puddings? Never worry about these things again thanks to our Pope Benedict chef's apron.

Made from highest quality PVC and decorated with a tasteful portrait of his Holiness, your cooking worries will be a thing of the past. With the representative of God on Earth looking on, your cooking will become truly blessed!

Great meals guaranteed for only £75.99!

Looking to impress your guests at that all important dinner party? Here's your chance with our special reserve 'Pope's Winery' wine!

And here's the clever bit : You don't have to make a choice between white and red, because this very special vintage comes as clear water with detailed instructions for turning it into the wine of your choice as you pour.

Miraculous, or what!? And even more when you find it's only £499.99 a bottle.

(Each bottle comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by Pope Benedict himself)