Students today don't know they are born

I have just spent four nights in the halls of residence at Bangor University.

"Oh no!"  I hear you cry. "Four nights of squalor and depravity!  Rat infested rooms!  Beds filled with toast crumbs! Marmite in the butter dish! Butter in the Marmite! Pubic hairs in the shower!"

Well, no actually. Anyone who wants to know which wall Gordon has been pissing our money up for the last 13 years need only visit Bangor University.

The halls of residence here are about 12 months old. They are clean, modern and very comfortable. I have stayed at 4 star hotels that were not as good. Honestly!...

But what about the food? Well, the bar and restaurant are also new and the food is very good. The bar is well stocked and very pleasant. There is a pool table and two plasma tellies. It's a far cry from the smoke stained spit and sawdust of my days.

It was difficult to find anything to moan about - although, of course, some people will always moan about something.

In my case, it was the modular shower room. It had been lifted straight out of a French motorway motel.

I knew it was foreign because the shaver socket wouldn't accept a UK plug....