Happy birthday America!

As today is the official birthday of the mighty USofA, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the origins of this great nation...

"America," as a wise man once put it, "is a nation of mongrels swept from the gutters of Europe." So how did it become the nation it is today?

Well, after we had cleared out the gutters and sent them all off to fight indians, we still had some ne'er do wells left. So now we needed to ship the rest over and then get rid of the place. After all, it was a long way away, cost us a fortune to maintain and we had never received a penny in taxes. They wanted to break away and this suited us just fine.

But how to do this? We couldn't just give it away. So we hatched a master plan. We would draft all the rest of the cannon fodder into the army and send them off to America to fight the yanks. Then we drew a line across the map, kept the good bit, and called it "Canada".

And if you think this is all guff, ask yourself why the American War of Independence is the only war Britain has ever lost...