Pointless technology : The Chromebook

Just once in a while, a product comes along where you think "What the fuck where they thinking when they designed that?"

The Google Chromebook is just such a product...

Now I'm all in favour of a laptop that boots up a little bit quicker than the 5 odd minutes my XP machine takes but, to be honest, it does give me time to make a cup of tea while it starts up and, when it's actually running, it does do the things that I want it to do.

The Chromebook on the other hand, doesn't. Let's look at some of the 'advantages' that are claimed for it :

"Chromebooks are always connected to internet." Well that might be true for you, but frankly where I live - which is not in the middle of nowhere - I think we need to add "provided there is a connection, otherwise you can't use it!"

"Your apps, documents, and settings are stored safely in the cloud" because there's no hard drive to keep them on. See comment above and, let's be honest, do you really want all you data stored on someone else's hard drive?

"Software updates itself" just like with Microsoft updates - which is why mine is disabled!

On top of all this there is no USB port and no printer driver. It comes with a card slot and 16Gb of solid state memory. If it's not on an app, then it doesn't run. No spreadsheets, no word processing. It won't run movies or play music. There's minimal storage except on the web. If you want to print anything, then you need an internet connected printer - and we've all got one of those!

And, of course, all the apps have to be obtained from Google.

As far as I can see, you can get a pretty good laptop, an iPad or a good NetBook for about the same price - so what's the point of it? It's a bit like an iPhone that doesn't make phone calls!

So if you want to impress your friends that you have the latest gadget and don't actually want to do any computing, then this is the perfect product for you...

Pointless technology : The Chromebook

Just once in a while, a product comes along where you think "What the fuck where they thinking when they designed that?"

The Google Chromebook is just such a product...

Now I'm all in favour of a laptop that boots up a little bit quicker than the 5 odd minutes my XP machine takes but, to be honest, it does give me time to make a cup of tea while it starts up and, when it's actually running, it does do the things that I want it to do.

The Chromebook on the other hand, doesn't. Let's look at some of the 'advantages' that are claimed for it :

"Chromebooks are always connected to internet." Well that might be true for you, but frankly where I live - which is not in the middle of nowhere - I think we need to add "provided there is a connection, otherwise you can't use it!"

"Your apps, documents, and settings are stored safely in the cloud" because there's no hard drive to keep them on. See comment above and, let's be honest, do you really want all you data stored on someone else's hard drive?

"Software updates itself" just like with Microsoft updates - which is why mine is disabled!

On top of all this there is no USB port and no printer driver. It comes with a card slot and 16Gb of solid state memory. If it's not on an app, then it doesn't run. No spreadsheets, no word processing. It won't run movies or play music. There's minimal storage except on the web. If you want to print anything, then you need an internet connected printer - and we've all got one of those!

And, of course, all the apps have to be obtained from Google.

As far as I can see, you can get a pretty good laptop, an iPad or a good NetBook for about the same price - so what's the point of it? It's a bit like an iPhone that doesn't make phone calls!

So if you want to impress your friends that you have the latest gadget and don't actually want to do any computing, then this is the perfect product for you...

Burger King don't do Carlsberg...

 ...but if they did, it would probably taste like shite as well.

Burger King, Birchanger Services, M11

 Probably the worst restaurant in the world!!

Burger King don't do Carlsberg...

 ...but if they did, it would probably taste like shite as well.

Burger King, Birchanger Services, M11

 Probably the worst restaurant in the world!!

Crap Bars of the World : Bloody Mary's

During our recent visit to Bora Bora, we had the opportunity to call in at one of the world's most famous bars, Bloody Mary's.

Responsible for inventing the world famous drink of the same name, it was established in 1979 and gained it's fame by patronage from the likes of Marlon Brando who was particularly fond of the place and had a house on the island. Our tour included a drink here, so it would have been churlish to refuse.

The first thing you notice when you pull up outside is two bloody great (excuse the pun) noticeboards with the names of all the famous people who have visited the place. Then you go in past a counter selling T-shirts into the main bar.

To be fair, we did drop 90+ people into the bar in one go, so that might have accounted for the feeling of darkness and claustrophobia, but I have a feeling that was probably just the same with 10 people! Anyway, the aforementioned and much hyped drinks were duly doled out and consumed.

Disappointingly, mine contained enough Tabasco sauce to take the skin off my throat as it went down. The cynical amongst us might think that this was perhaps to cover up the lack of vodka? Surely not! (I don't want to get sued.)

However, to check out this theory, I asked for a second one without the Tabasco. Eventually, after much difficulty with the language - which was odd as we were both speaking English - one was duly delivered. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding as mine seemed devoid of any taste of vodka as far as I could tell.

And the cost of this? Our cruise director doled out 69,000 Pacific francs - which is about £600 to you or around £6 a glass.

And,  if after all that, you felt inclined by buy one of their T-shirt advertising the place, they were a very reasonable US$ 39 each!

So my advice to you if you are looking for a bloody Mary on Bora Bora? Buy a carton of tomato juice and a bottle of vodka, go to Bloody Mary's and take a picture, sit across the road and look at it while you drink your own.

It'll taste better, cost less and you still get a look at the outside - which is actually a lot nicer than the inside...

Crap Bars of the World : Bloody Mary's

During our recent visit to Bora Bora, we had the opportunity to call in at one of the world's most famous bars, Bloody Mary's.

Responsible for inventing the world famous drink of the same name, it was established in 1979 and gained it's fame by patronage from the likes of Marlon Brando who was particularly fond of the place and had a house on the island. Our tour included a drink here, so it would have been churlish to refuse.

The first thing you notice when you pull up outside is two bloody great (excuse the pun) noticeboards with the names of all the famous people who have visited the place. Then you go in past a counter selling T-shirts into the main bar.

To be fair, we did drop 90+ people into the bar in one go, so that might have accounted for the feeling of darkness and claustrophobia, but I have a feeling that was probably just the same with 10 people! Anyway, the aforementioned and much hyped drinks were duly doled out and consumed.

Disappointingly, mine contained enough Tabasco sauce to take the skin off my throat as it went down. The cynical amongst us might think that this was perhaps to cover up the lack of vodka? Surely not! (I don't want to get sued.)

However, to check out this theory, I asked for a second one without the Tabasco. Eventually, after much difficulty with the language - which was odd as we were both speaking English - one was duly delivered. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding as mine seemed devoid of any taste of vodka as far as I could tell.

And the cost of this? Our cruise director doled out 69,000 Pacific francs - which is about £600 to you or around £6 a glass.

And,  if after all that, you felt inclined by buy one of their T-shirt advertising the place, they were a very reasonable US$ 39 each!

So my advice to you if you are looking for a bloody Mary on Bora Bora? Buy a carton of tomato juice and a bottle of vodka, go to Bloody Mary's and take a picture, sit across the road and look at it while you drink your own.

It'll taste better, cost less and you still get a look at the outside - which is actually a lot nicer than the inside...