Supreme Leader's pre-budget statement

Comrades,

Tomorrow, the right-wing led government will be spreading more lies about the economic future of our country!

You must not allow them to take reckless gambles with the future of our great nation. Only I, your Supreme Leader, have the policies to ensure we return to the halcyon days we enjoyed under Comrade Blair.

The way out of recession is to spend money to create jobs, not to cut spending and jobs.

I will raise billions of pounds and create hundreds of thousands of jobs for our downtrodden workers. I will cut taxes at a stroke, freeing the working classes from oppression.

I will increase house building for the less well off by 25,000 homes a year, abolish VAT on petrol, and restore funding to our embattled local authorities.

Comrade Balls has shown me how easily we can afford to do this. Of course, I cannot reveal our detailed policies at this stage in case this wicked government steals our ideas and presents them as their own. You know that this has happened in the past and we must not allow it to happen again!

Keep the faith, comrades, and the future will be fair for all!

Your Supreme Leader

Supreme Leader's pre-budget statement

Comrades,

Tomorrow, the right-wing led government will be spreading more lies about the economic future of our country!

You must not allow them to take reckless gambles with the future of our great nation. Only I, your Supreme Leader, have the policies to ensure we return to the halcyon days we enjoyed under Comrade Blair.

The way out of recession is to spend money to create jobs, not to cut spending and jobs.

I will raise billions of pounds and create hundreds of thousands of jobs for our downtrodden workers. I will cut taxes at a stroke, freeing the working classes from oppression.

I will increase house building for the less well off by 25,000 homes a year, abolish VAT on petrol, and restore funding to our embattled local authorities.

Comrade Balls has shown me how easily we can afford to do this. Of course, I cannot reveal our detailed policies at this stage in case this wicked government steals our ideas and presents them as their own. You know that this has happened in the past and we must not allow it to happen again!

Keep the faith, comrades, and the future will be fair for all!

Your Supreme Leader

New Balls

He's at it again! It really is time that the Milipede put the muzzle on his Rotweiller, especially if he is going to sink as low as this...

Yesterday, Balls decided that the best way to attack the Chancellor ahead of next week's budget was to play the Japan card. This what he said :

It won't be good enough if George Osborne stands up next week in the Budget and says the reason he has to downgrade his growth forecast is the cold winter, or the Irish bailout or because of the spike in world oil prices or the aftermath of the Japanese earthquake.

Frankly Ed, this is bad taste even for you.

Balls has a reputation for putting his foot in his mouth pretty much every time he opens it. His comments have been called 'insensitive' and 'insulting to the Japanese people'. It's hard to disagree.

Tory MP Aidan Burley summed it up nicely : "It seems very distasteful to be pre-empting a comment George has not made and almost certainly won't make. It must be a new low for a shadow Chancellor to think the Chancellor would blame an 8.8 earthquake in Japan as in some way responsible for a decade of Labour mismanagement of the economy."

Labour of course said they had made a fair point about not been distracted by external events and that Balls had said 'nothing wrong'. The Milipede has kept a low profile on the matter. Frankly appointing this man as his Shadow Chancellor hardly shows good judgement...

New Balls

He's at it again! It really is time that the Milipede put the muzzle on his Rotweiller, especially if he is going to sink as low as this...

Yesterday, Balls decided that the best way to attack the Chancellor ahead of next week's budget was to play the Japan card. This what he said :

It won't be good enough if George Osborne stands up next week in the Budget and says the reason he has to downgrade his growth forecast is the cold winter, or the Irish bailout or because of the spike in world oil prices or the aftermath of the Japanese earthquake.

Frankly Ed, this is bad taste even for you.

Balls has a reputation for putting his foot in his mouth pretty much every time he opens it. His comments have been called 'insensitive' and 'insulting to the Japanese people'. It's hard to disagree.

Tory MP Aidan Burley summed it up nicely : "It seems very distasteful to be pre-empting a comment George has not made and almost certainly won't make. It must be a new low for a shadow Chancellor to think the Chancellor would blame an 8.8 earthquake in Japan as in some way responsible for a decade of Labour mismanagement of the economy."

Labour of course said they had made a fair point about not been distracted by external events and that Balls had said 'nothing wrong'. The Milipede has kept a low profile on the matter. Frankly appointing this man as his Shadow Chancellor hardly shows good judgement...

Osbourne's petrol U-turn

Incredible as it my seem, the Mighty Milipede's mouthpieces are accusing chancellor George Osbourne of doing a U-turn on petrol duty!

Their bleet relates to the Consevative promise to introduce a fuel price stabiliser mechanism in their election manifesto. They accuse the government of going back on this promise.

The price of petrol has hit £1.35 a litre due to the price of crude and the increases in VAT to 20% so Osbourne - as far as I can see in an effort to keep his promise - is considering reversing Alistair Darling's increase of 1p per litre due to come in in April.

It will come as no surprise to you to know that the Milipede is not anxious to describe this 1p change as a U-turn!

The scrapping of Labour's post dated tax rise is seem as an opportunity to be shown willing to find a working system and to allow time for the mechanics of that system to be ironed out. Business Secretary Vince Cable told reporters at Westminster that while a fuel stabiliser ‘could be made to work’ it would be difficult, ‘because what is the price around which you set the ups and downs (of the oil price)?’ He added: ‘There are real technical difficulties in operating such a system.’

Mr Osborne is determined to use his Budget on March 23 to respond to public disquiet about petrol prices.

For Labour, shadow transport secretary Maria Eagle said: "The Conservative-led government is all over the place on fuel prices. Each week ministers raise expectations of action but they've still done nothing. Warm words from George Osborne about a 1p change on fuel duty are all well and good, but families are paying 3p a litre more at the pump because of the VAT rise he chose to bring in."

Here at least is one senior Labour figure who fails to remember that it is Labour's 1p it is proposed to scrap and that Labour intended to raise VAT to 19%.

People who live in glass houses, really shouldn't throw stones...

Osbourne's petrol U-turn

Incredible as it my seem, the Mighty Milipede's mouthpieces are accusing chancellor George Osbourne of doing a U-turn on petrol duty!

Their bleet relates to the Consevative promise to introduce a fuel price stabiliser mechanism in their election manifesto. They accuse the government of going back on this promise.

The price of petrol has hit £1.35 a litre due to the price of crude and the increases in VAT to 20% so Osbourne - as far as I can see in an effort to keep his promise - is considering reversing Alistair Darling's increase of 1p per litre due to come in in April.

It will come as no surprise to you to know that the Milipede is not anxious to describe this 1p change as a U-turn!

The scrapping of Labour's post dated tax rise is seem as an opportunity to be shown willing to find a working system and to allow time for the mechanics of that system to be ironed out. Business Secretary Vince Cable told reporters at Westminster that while a fuel stabiliser ‘could be made to work’ it would be difficult, ‘because what is the price around which you set the ups and downs (of the oil price)?’ He added: ‘There are real technical difficulties in operating such a system.’

Mr Osborne is determined to use his Budget on March 23 to respond to public disquiet about petrol prices.

For Labour, shadow transport secretary Maria Eagle said: "The Conservative-led government is all over the place on fuel prices. Each week ministers raise expectations of action but they've still done nothing. Warm words from George Osborne about a 1p change on fuel duty are all well and good, but families are paying 3p a litre more at the pump because of the VAT rise he chose to bring in."

Here at least is one senior Labour figure who fails to remember that it is Labour's 1p it is proposed to scrap and that Labour intended to raise VAT to 19%.

People who live in glass houses, really shouldn't throw stones...

Rotten Boroughs : Suffolk County Council

Financial Expert Michael Gower has resigned from his job Suffolk County Council and accused them of wasting millions of pounds of taxpayers money at a time when budgets are tight.

Gower was brought in by the Council to manage a big contract with BT. Fewer that 2 years later he has resigned saying he feared that costs were rising out of control. The council insists the contract has led to better services and better value

In an interview with BBC Look East, Gower said "My attempts to manage a massive contract with BT to improve council services was ignored by those at the top. I felt that we weren't getting value for money. I felt that we were letting down the council tax payers. I felt that we weren't being professional."

6 years ago SCC and Mid Suffolk District Council partnered up with BT to form a joint company called Customer Service Direct (CSD). It would provide a call centre and web service for people to access council services, an overhaul of the councils communications internet and human resources, and a new internal finance system.

BT would plough £52m into the venture . The county council agreed to pay £323m over 10 years for the CSD contract. That has already jumped to £417m

"Now the council didn't want to put anybody up for interview" said the BBC, "but have pointed out that the extra £94m it spent is partly down to inflation . It said that the CSD contract has developed services which in turn has increased its value. It also points out that the project wasn't specifically set up simply to save money."

LibDem county councillor Andrew Cann commented "Well that's absolutely rubbish because I can remember all the hoo hah at the time and the council were saying it was a £300m contract that was going to save us £60m"

Michael Gower says that BT have done nothing wrong. "They were being extremely commercial and the council were being rather naive. The contract wasn't set up properly at the outset and that lead to us paying for a lot of services - or some services - which should have been included in the original contract. It led to ambiguity over what was in the contract and what was out of the contract."

Last year, the council's chief executive Andrea Hill attended two week long courses run by BT. They were based in San Francisco and Boston. Her costs were not funded by the council. That, says Michael Gower, could set the wrong impression.

"Well come on. There is no such thing as a free lunch. If you are taken to the United States on a training course there is bound to be some expectation that there will be some return on this" he said.

The council says that BT's training course is attended by council executives across the public sector. Both courses were fully approved by the monitoring officer and the council leader.

While Michael Gower takes 'time out' Suffolk County Council maintains that the contract is on course to deliver both savings and efficiencies.

Yeah - right! As far as I can see, this is a typical case of council ineptitude - a badly defined contract, spending out of control and dubious judgements.

This is a council led by a grossly overpaid Chief Exec (£220,000 per annum) who is not concerned about what other people think of her. Come on Pickles - get her and the others like her on their bikes now...

Rotten Boroughs : Suffolk County Council

Financial Expert Michael Gower has resigned from his job Suffolk County Council and accused them of wasting millions of pounds of taxpayers money at a time when budgets are tight.

Gower was brought in by the Council to manage a big contract with BT. Fewer that 2 years later he has resigned saying he feared that costs were rising out of control. The council insists the contract has led to better services and better value

In an interview with BBC Look East, Gower said "My attempts to manage a massive contract with BT to improve council services was ignored by those at the top. I felt that we weren't getting value for money. I felt that we were letting down the council tax payers. I felt that we weren't being professional."

6 years ago SCC and Mid Suffolk District Council partnered up with BT to form a joint company called Customer Service Direct (CSD). It would provide a call centre and web service for people to access council services, an overhaul of the councils communications internet and human resources, and a new internal finance system.

BT would plough £52m into the venture . The county council agreed to pay £323m over 10 years for the CSD contract. That has already jumped to £417m

"Now the council didn't want to put anybody up for interview" said the BBC, "but have pointed out that the extra £94m it spent is partly down to inflation . It said that the CSD contract has developed services which in turn has increased its value. It also points out that the project wasn't specifically set up simply to save money."

LibDem county councillor Andrew Cann commented "Well that's absolutely rubbish because I can remember all the hoo hah at the time and the council were saying it was a £300m contract that was going to save us £60m"

Michael Gower says that BT have done nothing wrong. "They were being extremely commercial and the council were being rather naive. The contract wasn't set up properly at the outset and that lead to us paying for a lot of services - or some services - which should have been included in the original contract. It led to ambiguity over what was in the contract and what was out of the contract."

Last year, the council's chief executive Andrea Hill attended two week long courses run by BT. They were based in San Francisco and Boston. Her costs were not funded by the council. That, says Michael Gower, could set the wrong impression.

"Well come on. There is no such thing as a free lunch. If you are taken to the United States on a training course there is bound to be some expectation that there will be some return on this" he said.

The council says that BT's training course is attended by council executives across the public sector. Both courses were fully approved by the monitoring officer and the council leader.

While Michael Gower takes 'time out' Suffolk County Council maintains that the contract is on course to deliver both savings and efficiencies.

Yeah - right! As far as I can see, this is a typical case of council ineptitude - a badly defined contract, spending out of control and dubious judgements.

This is a council led by a grossly overpaid Chief Exec (£220,000 per annum) who is not concerned about what other people think of her. Come on Pickles - get her and the others like her on their bikes now...

The Quango Song (What a Waste!)

Look - just 'cos I'm out flying somewhere over the ocean doesn't mean that I can't just interject the odd nugget...

Here's a song I did with my favourite backing group, the Blockheads, to commemorate, hopefully, burning (or in this case drowning) all those quangos - although I'll believe it when I see it

The Quango Song (What a Waste!)

Look - just 'cos I'm out flying somewhere over the ocean doesn't mean that I can't just interject the odd nugget...

Here's a song I did with my favourite backing group, the Blockheads, to commemorate, hopefully, burning (or in this case drowning) all those quangos - although I'll believe it when I see it

Taking in easy, init?

Your host is once more in musical mode, celebrating the promissed Coagulation Government's crackdown on benefits.

Here's a little something for the weekend that I recorded with the Eagles. Enjoy!

Taking in easy, init?

Your host is once more in musical mode, celebrating the promissed Coagulation Government's crackdown on benefits.

Here's a little something for the weekend that I recorded with the Eagles. Enjoy!

Dear Liam Fox....

As you seem to in a bit of quandry over Trident, may I suggest the following :

Well, you did say the cuts were going to be painful...and that's gotta hurt!

Dear Liam Fox....

As you seem to in a bit of quandry over Trident, may I suggest the following :

Well, you did say the cuts were going to be painful...and that's gotta hurt!

Overseas Aid - again!

Yesterday, I gave you my views on how we could expand the aid budget to include our own people. But now I hear from the Secretary of State for International Development, Andrew Mitchell, that aid for Afghanistan is to be increased by 40%

"What!", I hear you say. "The aid budget is ring fenced."

Well, apparently in true political style we can get around that by redefining things.

It seems the total is ring fenced, but we can 'reprioritise' the order in which we give out the aid, presumably drawing a line when the money runs out?

Now don't get me wrong. If the increase in aid to Afghanistan means that we get the country in order more quickly and our troops come home sooner, then that's fair enough.

What I don't go along with is the principal that we can now apparently cut stuff off the bottom of the list to make room for this, but if we weren't doing this, then they would have stayed on the list. This makes no sense.

Why don't we just look at what we can afford - which, let's face it is sod all - and then take the things off the list that can be taken off and use the money to provide essential services for our own people and to pay off our debts?

I suggest,  Messrs. Cleggeron, that you read this and yesterday's posts....

Overseas Aid - again!

Yesterday, I gave you my views on how we could expand the aid budget to include our own people. But now I hear from the Secretary of State for International Development, Andrew Mitchell, that aid for Afghanistan is to be increased by 40%

"What!", I hear you say. "The aid budget is ring fenced."

Well, apparently in true political style we can get around that by redefining things.

It seems the total is ring fenced, but we can 'reprioritise' the order in which we give out the aid, presumably drawing a line when the money runs out?

Now don't get me wrong. If the increase in aid to Afghanistan means that we get the country in order more quickly and our troops come home sooner, then that's fair enough.

What I don't go along with is the principal that we can now apparently cut stuff off the bottom of the list to make room for this, but if we weren't doing this, then they would have stayed on the list. This makes no sense.

Why don't we just look at what we can afford - which, let's face it is sod all - and then take the things off the list that can be taken off and use the money to provide essential services for our own people and to pay off our debts?

I suggest,  Messrs. Cleggeron, that you read this and yesterday's posts....

Ring-fencing the aid budget

Sorry, Mr. Osbourne, George, Mr Chancellor, Sir - but what the fuck are you talking about?

You have just been telling us at some length that this country is in the deep shite and that we all need to make sacrifices for the good of the country. Apparently, you keep telling us ad nauseum, we can't spend money we don't have.

So as you are so fucking clever, please explain to me how a country that has no money (i.e. us) is able to give money we don't have to other countries that have no money either?

I seriously suggest that you take the ring fence from around the overseas development budget and shove it up your arse - which at least will stop you talking out of it...

Ring-fencing the aid budget

Sorry, Mr. Osbourne, George, Mr Chancellor, Sir - but what the fuck are you talking about?

You have just been telling us at some length that this country is in the deep shite and that we all need to make sacrifices for the good of the country. Apparently, you keep telling us ad nauseum, we can't spend money we don't have.

So as you are so fucking clever, please explain to me how a country that has no money (i.e. us) is able to give money we don't have to other countries that have no money either?

I seriously suggest that you take the ring fence from around the overseas development budget and shove it up your arse - which at least will stop you talking out of it...

Government talks CRAP!

Yesterday, at the O2 Arena in London, Chancellor George Osbourne unveiled his strategy for today's emergency budget.

"The options before us are simple," said Mr Osbourne. "What this country desperately needs is a damn good C.R.A.P. - a Cost Reduction Action Plan - and I've called you all here today to emphasize that the Coalition Government's number one priority is to cut out waste and unnecessary costs.

"The previous Labour government left us a legacy of Super High Increased Taxation, and if we are to pre-empt any further avoidable build ups of S.H.I.T., it is absolutely essential that we have a really thorough C.R.A.P. right now!

"Unfortunately, " he went on, "I have to tell you that there is a distinct possibility that one C.R.A.P. will not be enough if we are to save this country from being flushed right down the toilet."

Mr Osbourne was met with rapturous applause from the capacity 23,000 delegate crowd and at the five course lunch afterwards, was praised for his honest approach to the problem of keeping costs to an absolute minimum.

Government talks CRAP!

Yesterday, at the O2 Arena in London, Chancellor George Osbourne unveiled his strategy for today's emergency budget.

"The options before us are simple," said Mr Osbourne. "What this country desperately needs is a damn good C.R.A.P. - a Cost Reduction Action Plan - and I've called you all here today to emphasize that the Coalition Government's number one priority is to cut out waste and unnecessary costs.

"The previous Labour government left us a legacy of Super High Increased Taxation, and if we are to pre-empt any further avoidable build ups of S.H.I.T., it is absolutely essential that we have a really thorough C.R.A.P. right now!

"Unfortunately, " he went on, "I have to tell you that there is a distinct possibility that one C.R.A.P. will not be enough if we are to save this country from being flushed right down the toilet."

Mr Osbourne was met with rapturous applause from the capacity 23,000 delegate crowd and at the five course lunch afterwards, was praised for his honest approach to the problem of keeping costs to an absolute minimum.