Storytime

Remember Me Saturday needs your help. Click here to see what you can do.

Gather round ladies, it's story time. So we're snowed in and the boy is home from school. He don't want to watch tv, that's boring. He doesn't want to play video games, he's played them all before. Instead of doing anything at all he decided to just lay around on the sofa asking me questions every 2 seconds. "Why do you have these pillows on the couch Auntie?" I bought them so the sofa would be more comfortable. "You paid money for them?" This went on for hours people. Hours. "Auntie, do you know that hamsters eat their babies?" You should see what they do to their nephews. "Auntie am I going to be old like you someday?" Probably not. "Auntie, do you love me more than Rob?" Not right this second.

"Auntie, what's for lunch?" Yes. Lunch. He can't talk if his mouth is full. So I go make bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches and just as we are sitting down to eat my cousin, dickwad the doctor, comes in. First telling me how unhealthy bacon is. Then, "Aren't you going to fix me a sandwich?" he says. I tell him, "everything is right there, you can fix it". He starts sputtering about how he doesn't know how. What the fuck? You can't put bacon, lettuce, and tomato between two slices of bread? Your a doctor for the love of fuck. Hell, the boy can do that and he's eight. I look over at the boy, who is smirking at me. "Bet you love me more than Rob right this second huh?"

Do you see what I have to deal with?