Papal Quiz - The answers!

For those of you enthralled by the challenge I set you with my recent 'fake or real' Papal visit souvenirs, here are the answers :

• Money Box :  Real - available by mail order in the States!
• Benedict-a-phone - I loved this one. Shame it's a fake.
• USB Stick : Real. Honest.
• Chef's Apron : Almost real - I changed the picture, but you can buy a Pope apron with the official visit logo on it.
• Pope's Wine : Real - apart from the miracle bit of course. It's a genuine Californian winery.
• Pope on a Rope : Real.
• Papal Visits for Dummies : Fake - although there is a Roman Catholicism for Dummies so I only had to photoshop a bit of the title.
• Talking Key Ring : Almost real. It doesn't talk but you really can get 'the power of the Pope in your pocket.'
• Naked Pope Pen : OK - it's a complete fake!
• 3 Hail Marys Cocktail Shaker : Realish - the Pope Benedict cocktail shaker is real but I made the rest up!
• I Love the Pope Knickers : 100% genuine.
• Benedict Condoms : Also 100% genuine. On the other side of the packet to "I said NO!" is printed "But we say YES"
• Pope's Special Ale : Real - but I doctored the picture on  the beermat
• Pope Candles : 100% genuine
• Flashing Pope Cigarette Dispenser : What do you think? Of course it's a fake - but wouldn't it be great if it was real?

And the one that got away is pictured above. It's a board game called "Conclave - How men become Pope" and it's available via mail order from the official Vatican gift shop.

The prices are of course complete bollocks, but I'm sure the Vatican would charge this much for similar tacky tourist trash if they thought they could get away with it. Just look at the prices of their tour T-shirts!
 
So how many did you get right?...

Papal Quiz - The answers!

For those of you enthralled by the challenge I set you with my recent 'fake or real' Papal visit souvenirs, here are the answers :

• Money Box :  Real - available by mail order in the States!
• Benedict-a-phone - I loved this one. Shame it's a fake.
• USB Stick : Real. Honest.
• Chef's Apron : Almost real - I changed the picture, but you can buy a Pope apron with the official visit logo on it.
• Pope's Wine : Real - apart from the miracle bit of course. It's a genuine Californian winery.
• Pope on a Rope : Real.
• Papal Visits for Dummies : Fake - although there is a Roman Catholicism for Dummies so I only had to photoshop a bit of the title.
• Talking Key Ring : Almost real. It doesn't talk but you really can get 'the power of the Pope in your pocket.'
• Naked Pope Pen : OK - it's a complete fake!
• 3 Hail Marys Cocktail Shaker : Realish - the Pope Benedict cocktail shaker is real but I made the rest up!
• I Love the Pope Knickers : 100% genuine.
• Benedict Condoms : Also 100% genuine. On the other side of the packet to "I said NO!" is printed "But we say YES"
• Pope's Special Ale : Real - but I doctored the picture on  the beermat
• Pope Candles : 100% genuine
• Flashing Pope Cigarette Dispenser : What do you think? Of course it's a fake - but wouldn't it be great if it was real?

And the one that got away is pictured above. It's a board game called "Conclave - How men become Pope" and it's available via mail order from the official Vatican gift shop.

The prices are of course complete bollocks, but I'm sure the Vatican would charge this much for similar tacky tourist trash if they thought they could get away with it. Just look at the prices of their tour T-shirts!
 
So how many did you get right?...

Apeshit!

I'm off on holiday shortly (Yes! Again...), and have just recieved my tickets - along with a letter telling me about the latest invasion of our privacy and civil liberties.

APIS or Advaced Passenger Information System is yet another legacy from the bullshit Brown governmant foisted upon us because, of course, the Yanks have it so it must be essential for us!!

"Your airline is legally obliged to collect passenger information from all customers (including infants) who are travelling to, and in some cases from, those countries involved in your itinerary that require information, for electronic transmission to the relevant country's Customs and Immigration authorities prior to departure."

So I get a snotty letter from the tour operator telling me to go to a website and fill all this shit in. Apparently, this information will be "kept for no more than 10 years by the British Government." So now they are keeping a check on my movements in and out of the UK. I am, I might add, travelling to an EU country which, in theory, means that I don't need to use my passport (ha! ha!) so this new database gets around that one.

And if that's not bad enough, I am visitting the US for a couple of hours later in the year, so of course now I need to fill in their version - ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization). Even though I am eligible for visa waiver, I have to pay $15 to register that I am coming! I woudn't mind, but I am only changing terminals and flying straight out again.

Still, all this bullshit keeps the bureaucrats in a job and keeps track of all the plebs. Orwell would have loved it.

I'm getting a T-shirt printed : "I'm going APeshIt with ESTA" and on the back "Am I API? No - I ain't" which should impress immigration no end...

Apeshit!

I'm off on holiday shortly (Yes! Again...), and have just recieved my tickets - along with a letter telling me about the latest invasion of our privacy and civil liberties.

APIS or Advaced Passenger Information System is yet another legacy from the bullshit Brown governmant foisted upon us because, of course, the Yanks have it so it must be essential for us!!

"Your airline is legally obliged to collect passenger information from all customers (including infants) who are travelling to, and in some cases from, those countries involved in your itinerary that require information, for electronic transmission to the relevant country's Customs and Immigration authorities prior to departure."

So I get a snotty letter from the tour operator telling me to go to a website and fill all this shit in. Apparently, this information will be "kept for no more than 10 years by the British Government." So now they are keeping a check on my movements in and out of the UK. I am, I might add, travelling to an EU country which, in theory, means that I don't need to use my passport (ha! ha!) so this new database gets around that one.

And if that's not bad enough, I am visitting the US for a couple of hours later in the year, so of course now I need to fill in their version - ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization). Even though I am eligible for visa waiver, I have to pay $15 to register that I am coming! I woudn't mind, but I am only changing terminals and flying straight out again.

Still, all this bullshit keeps the bureaucrats in a job and keeps track of all the plebs. Orwell would have loved it.

I'm getting a T-shirt printed : "I'm going APeshIt with ESTA" and on the back "Am I API? No - I ain't" which should impress immigration no end...

avp - 1024 x 768

Building for floods in India

In the light of the floods in Pakistan, I am reminded of a trip I took a couple of years ago along the Brahmaputra river in Assam, India.

We visitted an unnamed island in the middle of the river and went for a wander across the crop fields and through the village. Like the Indus in Pakistan, the Brahmaputra floods every year. Every year, this island disappears under the flood waters, washing away everything in its path.

A couple of us were talking to one of the villagers, who was leaning against one of the stilts that his house - and all the others in the village - are built on as you can see above. He explained to us that every year they gather the crops, take in the animals and sit out the floods. I asked him why he didn't just move. He said that the silt depositted made the ground very fertile and the crops were good. And the flood water? "It happens every year so we are ready for it."

My somewhat dim-but-nice friend asked him how high the water comes up? He replied by placing his hand on one of the stilts about a foot below the floor level of his house. "About here", he replied.

The Chinese have the same problem with the Yangtze which is one of the reasons they built that enormous dam to help regulate it. They have problems at the moment too, but they are doing something about it not just holding out their begging bowl.

The Indus is not dissimilar to the Brahmaputra. It does this every year. Admittedly this year it has been extreme, but perhaps the Pakistanis could be a little more like the Assamese and be just a bit more prepared for it?

And perhaps their government could help by releasing just a small chunk of that $2 billion they are spending on developing nuclear power...

Building for floods in India

In the light of the floods in Pakistan, I am reminded of a trip I took a couple of years ago along the Brahmaputra river in Assam, India.

We visitted an unnamed island in the middle of the river and went for a wander across the crop fields and through the village. Like the Indus in Pakistan, the Brahmaputra floods every year. Every year, this island disappears under the flood waters, washing away everything in its path.

A couple of us were talking to one of the villagers, who was leaning against one of the stilts that his house - and all the others in the village - are built on as you can see above. He explained to us that every year they gather the crops, take in the animals and sit out the floods. I asked him why he didn't just move. He said that the silt depositted made the ground very fertile and the crops were good. And the flood water? "It happens every year so we are ready for it."

My somewhat dim-but-nice friend asked him how high the water comes up? He replied by placing his hand on one of the stilts about a foot below the floor level of his house. "About here", he replied.

The Chinese have the same problem with the Yangtze which is one of the reasons they built that enormous dam to help regulate it. They have problems at the moment too, but they are doing something about it not just holding out their begging bowl.

The Indus is not dissimilar to the Brahmaputra. It does this every year. Admittedly this year it has been extreme, but perhaps the Pakistanis could be a little more like the Assamese and be just a bit more prepared for it?

And perhaps their government could help by releasing just a small chunk of that $2 billion they are spending on developing nuclear power...