Christmas in September

Fucktastic, to- die- for pics of Rob, great friends, and presents! *wipes tears* It's like Christmas, but better because I didn't have to shop, clean, or cook.

Oh good Nellie, you're here! Now stand back from the smexy and remember to breathe!

Nellie I don’t know if I can…he’s just so damn HOT…the swooning is coming up through my body and it’s outta control...

Nellie I can see his entire beauty now…oh my…hyperventilating has begun…*grabs 02 tank and mask*

*whispers*I have been informed by @_corr that to love him is human and in good taste.

Nellie Loving him can’t be anything but human…he captivates me...and even though I’m 32 year old woman, married w/ kids, I am completely mesmerized by this man…panty combustion has commenced…*poof* (hold on – is this in good taste?)

Oh this is very good! As for the taste...I'll let you know when I become the official sparklepeen inspecter. *nods head* Yep, I'm gonna be in charge of keeping it spit shined.Is it possible to be in love with a picture?

Nellie F*ck yeah…he’s so beautiful…everything on his face, every stare, every part of his body MELTS me

And the world collectively sighs.

Nellie 4343273382123 women throughout the world sighs – a sound that reverberates through the universe

He doesn't play fair! *whines* Look how he makes us want him! Such a tease! *pouts*Like the pics of him with his faded, ripped flannels, hat, and sunglasses don't do it for us, he has pulled out all the stops here.

Nellie He doesn’t have to play fair…he’s Robert f*cking Pattinson…I want every feeling that he incites from me…keep it coming, baby!

*falls to floor weeping* Oh Rob you are so good to me! Please let me be good to you!

Nellie Please let us ALL be good to you…all we want to do is make you so very happy! *wink*

*bows head in reverance*

Nellie i. am. died. life functions have ceased. please tell my family that I love them...

Newspaper headlines, "Half of female population dies of sexsplosion...other half, pregnant...all babies to be named Robert!"

As some of you were able to see Melanii made me some fucking awesome pics that I was unable to post. If you did not get to see them, I apologize. It is unamerican; an injustice! I had wrapped my life around those pics. They were mine! Now I know how a crackhead feels *wails* The gubment done came took my babies!

Please take the time to go to Melanii's livejournal and show her some love for her fan-fucking-tasticness.

Promises

Hello! Do you love Robert Pattinson? You do? Me too. Let's be friends. Being my friend comes with a warning, however. I have no fucking clue what I am doing. Because of this I will need a small amount of patience. I also say the word fuck too fucking much, so you should probably be over the age of like 70 and be widowed and half deaf to listen to me. But I yam what I yam. Don't judge! You should also be aware that this will not be an up to the minute news blog. There are so many that do that way better than I ever could. I also don't give a rats ass about gossip. Therefore I will not sully my blog or the great Pattinson name by repeating the insane, money-hungry ramblings of the rag mags. All I care about is Robert Fucking Pattinson (say it with reverence).

I love Rob, he's my muse, and he brings me much amusesment. Hence, the blog name. I plan for this to be a happy place filled with heavenly Robness.

Oh, I see that's how you like it, too. Well, there is plenty more where that come from. I have some other cool things planned including a little sumpin' I am calling eRobica. Yep, you know you gotta stick around for that shizz.

Now, let's be serious for a sec while I make my man feel at home.

*clears throat to use serious voice*

Rob, since this blog will be about you. I feel I should make you some promises.

1. 
   
   I promise to not spread rumors.
   
   


2. 
   
   I promise that I have nothing bad to say about you.
   
   


3. 
   
   I promise not to stalk you. (internet excluded)
   
   


4. 
   
   I promise that should we ever meet I will not scream at you. (screaming your name should be done in the privacy of your bed)
   
   


5. 
   
   I promise not to call you Edward.
   
   


6. 
   
   I promise not to ask you to bite me.
   
   


7. 
   
   I promise not to ask about your hair.
   
   


8. 
   
   I promise not to ask about your relationships as the answers to such questions could crush me.
   
   

I promise that your happiness is my happy place and all I need from you is a smile.

That being said everyone shoould just prepare to move in to the RobMusement Park. Grab your sleeping bags and get cozy. Rob, you can bunk with me. *wink*