Only a year to go...

Yesterday we celebrated that fact that there is exactly one year to go before the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games. We had a little shindig in Trafalgar Square, and Princess Ugly unveiled the medals. Doesn't it just make you swell with national pride?

Well, no actually!

If one more person refers to 'Team GB' then I swear I will scream. Which pimply faced adolescent puerile marketing twat came up with such a bloody silly name anyway? But I digress...

Much was said in the papers yesterday about the targets that have been set for the Great Britain Olympic Team and how we will be judged a failure if we do not achieve them. Apparently, the team will be letting the taxpayers down if they fail to achieve this target. Talk about setting ourselves up for a fall! I suspect that the nearest most of your team members will get to a medal was in Trafalgar Square yesterday.

We're great at it, aren't we? Set 'em up and knock 'em down! There's a year to go and we've got the medals hanging around their necks already. Why don't we just scrap the games and give everyone in the team a medal? I would be a bloody site cheaper! The names of Henman and Murray come to mind...

And then there's the row over catering. Apparently building a bloody great MacDonald's in the middle of the site is going to spark a child obesity epidemic. A bit late for that isn't it? They're in every high street in the country and have been for years. And they're not the sort of people we should be associating with for the Olympics - although we seem to be forgetting that they have forked out several million for the priviledge.

Which bring me nicely on to the subject of all the corporations who promised to be sponsoring this great fiasco and have now failed to produce the money, blaming this u-turn on the financial recession. Yesterday, the head of the Olympic Delivery Authority (is it just me that thinks that ODA is something that stinks?) announced that without the sponsorship funds he had expected that he would have to dip into his contingency fund.

Or to put it another way, the taxpayer will have to stump up even more cash - because it's not his money is it? It's ours!

Did it never occur to the Labour government to get these defaulting sponsors to sign a legally binding contract when they agree to come forward? Silly question...

As far as I can see, the only good thing about yesterdays milestone date is that it means there's only 13 months to go until its all over.

And then we will be left to count the real cost - in money and ego...

Only a year to go...

Yesterday we celebrated that fact that there is exactly one year to go before the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games. We had a little shindig in Trafalgar Square, and Princess Ugly unveiled the medals. Doesn't it just make you swell with national pride?

Well, no actually!

If one more person refers to 'Team GB' then I swear I will scream. Which pimply faced adolescent puerile marketing twat came up with such a bloody silly name anyway? But I digress...

Much was said in the papers yesterday about the targets that have been set for the Great Britain Olympic Team and how we will be judged a failure if we do not achieve them. Apparently, the team will be letting the taxpayers down if they fail to achieve this target. Talk about setting ourselves up for a fall! I suspect that the nearest most of your team members will get to a medal was in Trafalgar Square yesterday.

We're great at it, aren't we? Set 'em up and knock 'em down! There's a year to go and we've got the medals hanging around their necks already. Why don't we just scrap the games and give everyone in the team a medal? I would be a bloody site cheaper! The names of Henman and Murray come to mind...

And then there's the row over catering. Apparently building a bloody great MacDonald's in the middle of the site is going to spark a child obesity epidemic. A bit late for that isn't it? They're in every high street in the country and have been for years. And they're not the sort of people we should be associating with for the Olympics - although we seem to be forgetting that they have forked out several million for the priviledge.

Which bring me nicely on to the subject of all the corporations who promised to be sponsoring this great fiasco and have now failed to produce the money, blaming this u-turn on the financial recession. Yesterday, the head of the Olympic Delivery Authority (is it just me that thinks that ODA is something that stinks?) announced that without the sponsorship funds he had expected that he would have to dip into his contingency fund.

Or to put it another way, the taxpayer will have to stump up even more cash - because it's not his money is it? It's ours!

Did it never occur to the Labour government to get these defaulting sponsors to sign a legally binding contract when they agree to come forward? Silly question...

As far as I can see, the only good thing about yesterdays milestone date is that it means there's only 13 months to go until its all over.

And then we will be left to count the real cost - in money and ego...

The Great Olympic Ticket Fiasco (2)

Remember you heard it here first !

The Seb Coe popularity shows lumbers on. Apparently, 1,900,000 deluded souls applied for tickets under the impression that they might actually get some, but only 700,000 of them were 'lucky' - and a lot of them didn't get what they really wanted. But never mind...

So basically it was the fuck up I predicted and just to prove that the Brits love a good fuck up and that Coe is the man for the job, there's another fuck up coming our way on the 24th June when they release yet another traunch of tickets  - mainly for the events that no-one wants to actually see.

This time the tickets will be on a first come first served basis - which is how it should have been done in the first place. There will be 2,300,000 tickets initially offered to those who missed out on the first round of the great ticket fiasco. Mind you, if you don't like football then you're in for a bit of a shock because 1,700,000 of these tickets are for football.

Apparently, there will still be more tickets to come later in the year but there is a problem releasing these just yet because the seating arrangements can't be finalised until they decide where to site the cameras!

But the laugh of the week over all this came as I was watching BBC Breakfast the other morning. There was a guy on there who had no trouble at all getting tickets. He applied on line and was instantly sold exactly what he wanted. No problem. No hassle. Job done!

So where exactly is this wonderful Olympic Tickets website?.......

.....It's in Germany.

The Great Olympic Ticket Fiasco (2)

Remember you heard it here first !

The Seb Coe popularity shows lumbers on. Apparently, 1,900,000 deluded souls applied for tickets under the impression that they might actually get some, but only 700,000 of them were 'lucky' - and a lot of them didn't get what they really wanted. But never mind...

So basically it was the fuck up I predicted and just to prove that the Brits love a good fuck up and that Coe is the man for the job, there's another fuck up coming our way on the 24th June when they release yet another traunch of tickets  - mainly for the events that no-one wants to actually see.

This time the tickets will be on a first come first served basis - which is how it should have been done in the first place. There will be 2,300,000 tickets initially offered to those who missed out on the first round of the great ticket fiasco. Mind you, if you don't like football then you're in for a bit of a shock because 1,700,000 of these tickets are for football.

Apparently, there will still be more tickets to come later in the year but there is a problem releasing these just yet because the seating arrangements can't be finalised until they decide where to site the cameras!

But the laugh of the week over all this came as I was watching BBC Breakfast the other morning. There was a guy on there who had no trouble at all getting tickets. He applied on line and was instantly sold exactly what he wanted. No problem. No hassle. Job done!

So where exactly is this wonderful Olympic Tickets website?.......

.....It's in Germany.

Friday the 13th

I'm not superstitious, but it is Friday the 13th - a day when, unless I absolutely have to get up, I stay in bed with the covers firmly pulled over my head! Basically, this is because I suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia.

Apparently, this is a combination of two superstitions - that Friday is an unlucky day and that 13 is an unlucky number...

In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock, twelve tribes of Israel, twelve Apostles of Jesus, twelve gods of Olympus, etc., whereas the number thirteen was considered irregular, transgressing this completeness. There is also a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper or a Norse myth, that having thirteen people seated at a table will result in the death of one of the diners

Friday has been considered an unlucky day at least since the 14th century's The Canterbury Tales, and many other professions have regarded Friday as an unlucky day to undertake journeys or begin new projects. Black Friday has been associated with stock market crashes and other disasters since the 1800s. It has also been suggested that Friday has been considered an unlucky day because, according to Christian scripture and tradition, Jesus was crucified on a Friday.

The actual origin of the superstition, though, appears also to be a tale in Norse mythology. Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil — a gathering of thirteen — and plotted ill turns of fate for the coming week. For many centuries in Scandinavia, Friday was known as "Witches' Sabbath."

Here's a few unhappy events that happened on Friday the 13th :

• Hurricane Charley made landfall in south Florida on Friday, August 13, 2004.
• The "Friday the 13th Storm" struck Buffalo, New York on Friday, October 13, 2006.
• The Uphaar Cinema fire on Friday, June 13, 1997.
• The asteroid 99942 Apophis will make a close encounter with Earth, closer than the orbits of communication satellites, on Friday, April 13, 2029.
• The Andes Plane Crash of 1972 occurred on Friday, October 13, 1972.
• Unix time reached 1,234,567,890 seconds on Friday, February 13, 2009.
• A London Underground Engineering train on the Northern Line became uncoupled and went on a 13 minute journey southbound from Archway, finally stopping at Warren Street tube station. The train in front has been forced to skip several stations and been diverted to the city branch on August 13, 2010.

Luckily, there is only one Friday 13th this year, but Olympic committee take note there are three in 2012, so you are definitely well fucked!

But my problem with this date is a very personal one - my sister was born on Friday the 13th, and she is undoubtedly one of the most poisonous, vindictive and evil bastards who ever walked the face of the Earth.

Thankfully, I have now managed to move house twice without giving her the new address so I should be safe...

...but I'm taking no chances!

+ + + + + + UPDATE + + + + + +
The farce on Blogger today has rather proved my point, hasn't it? Not only that, but Twitter is now refusing logins because it has "temporarily reached capacity"! I love it...

Friday the 13th

I'm not superstitious, but it is Friday the 13th - a day when, unless I absolutely have to get up, I stay in bed with the covers firmly pulled over my head! Basically, this is because I suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia.

Apparently, this is a combination of two superstitions - that Friday is an unlucky day and that 13 is an unlucky number...

In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock, twelve tribes of Israel, twelve Apostles of Jesus, twelve gods of Olympus, etc., whereas the number thirteen was considered irregular, transgressing this completeness. There is also a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper or a Norse myth, that having thirteen people seated at a table will result in the death of one of the diners

Friday has been considered an unlucky day at least since the 14th century's The Canterbury Tales, and many other professions have regarded Friday as an unlucky day to undertake journeys or begin new projects. Black Friday has been associated with stock market crashes and other disasters since the 1800s. It has also been suggested that Friday has been considered an unlucky day because, according to Christian scripture and tradition, Jesus was crucified on a Friday.

The actual origin of the superstition, though, appears also to be a tale in Norse mythology. Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil — a gathering of thirteen — and plotted ill turns of fate for the coming week. For many centuries in Scandinavia, Friday was known as "Witches' Sabbath."

Here's a few unhappy events that happened on Friday the 13th :

• Hurricane Charley made landfall in south Florida on Friday, August 13, 2004.
• The "Friday the 13th Storm" struck Buffalo, New York on Friday, October 13, 2006.
• The Uphaar Cinema fire on Friday, June 13, 1997.
• The asteroid 99942 Apophis will make a close encounter with Earth, closer than the orbits of communication satellites, on Friday, April 13, 2029.
• The Andes Plane Crash of 1972 occurred on Friday, October 13, 1972.
• Unix time reached 1,234,567,890 seconds on Friday, February 13, 2009.
• A London Underground Engineering train on the Northern Line became uncoupled and went on a 13 minute journey southbound from Archway, finally stopping at Warren Street tube station. The train in front has been forced to skip several stations and been diverted to the city branch on August 13, 2010.

Luckily, there is only one Friday 13th this year, but Olympic committee take note there are three in 2012, so you are definitely well fucked!

But my problem with this date is a very personal one - my sister was born on Friday the 13th, and she is undoubtedly one of the most poisonous, vindictive and evil bastards who ever walked the face of the Earth.

Thankfully, I have now managed to move house twice without giving her the new address so I should be safe...

...but I'm taking no chances!

+ + + + + + UPDATE + + + + + +
The farce on Blogger today has rather proved my point, hasn't it? Not only that, but Twitter is now refusing logins because it has "temporarily reached capacity"! I love it...

The Great Olympic Ticket Fiasco

Personally, I always thought that Seb Coe - sorry, Lord Coe - was a not very bright bloke who landed a peerage and a plumb job by brown nosing to Tony Blair. Apparently, he is now proving it!

The sale of 2010 Olympic tickets has got to be the worst thought out piece of organisation that we have seen for many a year. And that's saying something. I'll explain why -

Let's assume that you actually want to attend the crock of shite known as the 2012 Olympics. Let's further assume that you want to go three times to a selection of 'sessions' (you don't get a day ticket).

So you go to the web site and buy three lots of tickets? Er, no. Too simple. You say which tickets you want and give them your plastic details, and they then decide in a month or so which tickets you will actually be allocated and then take the money

So, you've decided when and where you want to go and you've organised the tickets? Er, no. You might not get the tickets you want. In fact, you might not get allocated any at all.

So in order to have a good chance of going three times, you pick a whole selection of dates and times and you apply for your maximum allocation of 20 in the hope you will get 3 you actually like. And this is where the stupidity comes in...

Let's assume that your hunt for 3 lots of tickets has resulted in you getting 10, so now you have 7 you don't want. Too bad because they charged you for them and have your money.

The plan is that you now can sell these tickets back to the organisers at face value and they will then sell thenm them on to someone else. But not until next year sometime. So, you have just loaned the government your hard earned cash for a year at no interest.

Of course, if the Olympic sellers had just let you book on line on a first come first served basis, you would know exactly where you were, have the tickets you wanted on the day you wanted them, and they would still have sold all the tickets - and saved a shed load of admin costs on taking them back and reselling them.

And why have they decided to do it this way? Well, Lord Coe says it's fairer and ensures that people have a better chance of getting tickets. Of course, he's very concerned at the hits on the website and is impressed with the speed the tickets are being snapped up.

Like I said - not very bright!

The Great Olympic Ticket Fiasco

Personally, I always thought that Seb Coe - sorry, Lord Coe - was a not very bright bloke who landed a peerage and a plumb job by brown nosing to Tony Blair. Apparently, he is now proving it!

The sale of 2010 Olympic tickets has got to be the worst thought out piece of organisation that we have seen for many a year. And that's saying something. I'll explain why -

Let's assume that you actually want to attend the crock of shite known as the 2012 Olympics. Let's further assume that you want to go three times to a selection of 'sessions' (you don't get a day ticket).

So you go to the web site and buy three lots of tickets? Er, no. Too simple. You say which tickets you want and give them your plastic details, and they then decide in a month or so which tickets you will actually be allocated and then take the money

So, you've decided when and where you want to go and you've organised the tickets? Er, no. You might not get the tickets you want. In fact, you might not get allocated any at all.

So in order to have a good chance of going three times, you pick a whole selection of dates and times and you apply for your maximum allocation of 20 in the hope you will get 3 you actually like. And this is where the stupidity comes in...

Let's assume that your hunt for 3 lots of tickets has resulted in you getting 10, so now you have 7 you don't want. Too bad because they charged you for them and have your money.

The plan is that you now can sell these tickets back to the organisers at face value and they will then sell thenm them on to someone else. But not until next year sometime. So, you have just loaned the government your hard earned cash for a year at no interest.

Of course, if the Olympic sellers had just let you book on line on a first come first served basis, you would know exactly where you were, have the tickets you wanted on the day you wanted them, and they would still have sold all the tickets - and saved a shed load of admin costs on taking them back and reselling them.

And why have they decided to do it this way? Well, Lord Coe says it's fairer and ensures that people have a better chance of getting tickets. Of course, he's very concerned at the hits on the website and is impressed with the speed the tickets are being snapped up.

Like I said - not very bright!

Olympic medal targets

OK, here's simple question. How much would you pay for one of these?

These are Olympic Medals and in less than 500 days the monumentally pointless waste of public money known as the 2012 London Olympics will be under way. So what better way to prove that 13 years of Labour misrule have taught us bugger all, than to set some targets?

Apparently targets are good. Targets enable us to measure performance and to ensure that we are getting value for money. At the last count the Olympics are costing us, the taxpayer, £9,300,000,000 for the venue alone. That's £155 per person. They took mine. I was never asked.

And have you seen the Soviet style accomodation blocks they reckon are going to end up as desirable housing!??!

But let's not go there...

Instead, let's look at the targets. Sport UK says they are setting a target of 31-60 medals for the main games. UK Sport says that £100,000,000 has been 'invested' in our athletes with 2012 in mind. This puts us in the top 3 sports 'investors' in the world.  So here's some simple maths. If we get 60 medals - which I find find frankly unlikely - then each medal will have cost every single person in Britain an 'investment' of £1.65.

Frankly, I'd rather invest mine in a cup of coffee...

Olympic medal targets

OK, here's simple question. How much would you pay for one of these?

These are Olympic Medals and in less than 500 days the monumentally pointless waste of public money known as the 2012 London Olympics will be under way. So what better way to prove that 13 years of Labour misrule have taught us bugger all, than to set some targets?

Apparently targets are good. Targets enable us to measure performance and to ensure that we are getting value for money. At the last count the Olympics are costing us, the taxpayer, £9,300,000,000 for the venue alone. That's £155 per person. They took mine. I was never asked.

And have you seen the Soviet style accomodation blocks they reckon are going to end up as desirable housing!??!

But let's not go there...

Instead, let's look at the targets. Sport UK says they are setting a target of 31-60 medals for the main games. UK Sport says that £100,000,000 has been 'invested' in our athletes with 2012 in mind. This puts us in the top 3 sports 'investors' in the world.  So here's some simple maths. If we get 60 medals - which I find find frankly unlikely - then each medal will have cost every single person in Britain an 'investment' of £1.65.

Frankly, I'd rather invest mine in a cup of coffee...