Tampilkan postingan dengan label I'm going to hell for this. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label I'm going to hell for this. Tampilkan semua postingan

Senin, 29 Maret 2010

Resume

Below is the resume for the Robsessed. 

Career Objective

Robert Pattinson's personal ball washer. But I'll take what I can get till then.


Summary of Skills

- Ability to type about 25 word per minute, 35 with caffeinated coffee, 75 if it's about Rob.
- Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year as long as there is unlimited internet access.
- I am a great team (Robert) player.
- I am creative, dependable, and housebroken.
- I have eight arms and eight legs with excellent interweb skills.
- I can adapt to just about any environment from cubicles to fancy IKEA desks.
- It's best for employers that I not work with people.
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is un-Rob-related.
- Marital status: Committed to a guy who has no idea I exist.
I will contribute strengths in talking about Rob Pattinson, reading about Rob Pattinson, dozing off during meetings that are not about Rob Pattinson, tardiness because of Robert Pattinson, and entertaining fellow employees about Robert Pattinson.

Personal Interests

- Go Team Pattinson!
-  Writing a Robert Pattinson blog
- Tweeting Rob Pattinson pictures.
- Photoshopping Robert Pattinson.
- Making Rob Pattinson videos.
- Reading fanfiction about Robert Pattinson.
- Daydreaming about Robert Pattinson.
- I also like Robert Pattinson.

Reasons for leaving the last job

Not enough time for Robert Pattinson.

Where I See Myself In Five Years

With my career goal achieved I will be anxious to spread my...um...wings in all directions. Working closely with my employer he'll eagerly ooh and aah over my experience. I will overlook no areas to ensure an overwhelming success.


 

 



Selasa, 23 Maret 2010

Oh swoon

Tina and I are watching and commenting on The Daily Show interview with Rob. I'm pink, Tina's red and there is a very filthy joke in there somewhere.

This video says it's been viewed 75, 971 times. What it doesn't say is that half of that was by me. I love that Jon makes him truly laugh and keeps him giggling through the whole show. 

Ahuh - Gawd this interview is better than porn.
I gotta say a couple of those youtube video's .. most of them are my views. I watch them at work. Doesn't sound normal, but I do.

Normal *smacks down gavel*

The beauty of it all is my phone fits in the grooves of my keyboard - so I can watch him and work at the same time.

That's fate

Had to happen. I need my Rob then and there.

That's what she said
Let's go to my happy place.



He licks his lips everytime he takes a drink. *whimpers*

I know it's fucking delicious.

The only oversaturation he needs to be worried about is in my panties.

I'd say that is an accurate assessment of the situation.

When he looks at the camera, puckers his sweet sweet lips and goes, "woo" there's drippage.

I know babe I know.

I also love the way Rob says, "forgotten" and "command" and, well ...everything.

Me too *sigh*

My favorite part is when Rob giggles and poor Jon gets dazzled and has to look away.  

I know. See even the men can't resist him. He's fucking beautiful.

Jon pretends his pen is a cigarette

Bwhahahaha  He needs it.

I don't know about a podiatrist or dentist but I just wanna put it out there that Rob could totally be my gynecologist.
Also, I want to officially volunteer to be Rob's warm-up act.

Gyno Rob? Any. Day.

Women be going in to the office saying, "Please Dr. Pattinson, can you touch...I mean look at my hoohaw, there's an awful ache there I can't get rid of ever since I learned of your existance" I know cause I'm going to be the first one in line.

Women would purposefully go there every two weeks, just to make sure it's all good.  I would personally go there every second day.

BTW "I have my family warmed up by a guy..." and "...a guy who is able to enjoy the ride" that's what she said

He'd be our personal ones.. why the fuck are we sharing?

Good point.
It kinda bothers me when Jon says, "there is a feeling here that if we were to let down our guard, you would be dragged from the podium" This implies he would be hurt and I would never hurt him. I will, however, cut the bitch who tries.

You and me both. cut her, roll her up in a shower curtain and shove her in the ocean.. what too much?

This sounds like a good solid plan. Of course, I'm 4' 11" so I'm not sure how menacing I would be as security. Maybe I could fly over crowds and sprinkle fairy dust or some shit.

Of course. well.. you be air protection, and I'll be ground.

Are we still talking security or did this turn into a condom conversation?

I think it just migrated that way. The word protection did it.. I maybe kind of used it on purpose.

I'll tell you what I really think I'd be good at. I could be the keeper of the modesty patch. I'll love it and keep it safe and help him adjust that bad boy. Hell, I'll keep it spit shined and read it bedtime stories. Oh! I'll take care of the patch too.

Bwhahahahahahaha amazing job. I love it.

I'd be willing to provide round the clock service.

I can provide for other needs. Helping him shower for example.

Absolutely. He could fall and injure himself.

I know - and we can't have him injuring himself, so the only solution, shower with him.


Surely Rob can see the simple logic in this

Of course, he's a smart boy!

Indeed he is

Senin, 22 Maret 2010

Happy Anniversary

It was one year ago today that I bought the Twilight DVD and met Rob. It's been a good year.
The first anniversary is the gift of paper so I got a sexy little story (made here) and some boudoir photos made for me by TinaI also have a naked manip to give away to anyone who leaves a comment with their email.
Let's be serious a second. It really has been a great year and no matter what happens from here on out, for the rest of my life, this year will forever belong to Rob. 

From the dawn of my obsession to the dusk of my life, I love you Rob. 
Yours, J-






Now, on with the sexy!


"A Sunny Day"
by Wanda Foster
















The day was quite warm, the bright sunshine beating down as the red convertible zipped along the country road. Robert watched her out of the corner of his eye, appreciating the short skirt Jeanette was wearing. He always got a twinge in the pit of his stomach when he thought of her; the way her legs wrapped around him when they made love, the feel of her skin, the smell of her.






Robert felt himself growing just a bit from thinking about her. Jeanette was daydreaming about the night they had just shared. She closed her eyes for a moment and smiled; Robert was a very imaginative lover. She turned to look at him, and he at her. They smiled at each other, knowing instinctively what the other was thinking.

Jeanette glanced down and noticed the bulge in his pants. A big grin spread across her face as she thought about him. She turned and slid across the seat towards Robert. Placing her lips close to his ear, she whispered how much she liked the things they had done together the night before.


Jeanette reached down to rub him with her palm. Through his jeans, she felt him push up to her hand slightly. She touched his ear with the tip of her tongue, tracing the edge all the way from the bottom of the lobe to the top, then dipping slightly to the inside.

Robert shivered, a growl escaped his lips, and he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. She unbuttoned his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper. She was toying with his ear, teasing with her tongue, nipping lightly with her teeth. Her breath in his ear was wonderful, as was the pressure of her hand on his swelling member. "Raise your hips, lover," Jeanette whispered.

Robert gladly obliged and she slid his jeans down over his hips to give her access to him. She began to caress him with her hand, as she kissed downward, on the side of his neck, in the hollow where his shoulder began, and still downward.


She unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the skin as it was exposed. Jeanette took his nipple lightly between her teeth, running the tip of her tongue over it as he took in a sharp breath. Robert slowed a bit, unable to concentrate on his driving and what her hands and mouth were doing to him at the same time. He placed his right hand on her hair, caressing her lovingly. She continued to kiss his warm skin, slowly working her way downward, toward his straining erection. Jeanette took him in her hand again and held him while she lowered her head and flicked her tongue against the tip. Soft, feathery, teasing, little licks caused him to shudder.

His hand still in her hair, Robert pushed her head down. He pushed himself into her hot mouth. Jeanette eagerly took him in. She swirled her tongue around him, licking and sucking. His fingers tightening in her hair, he pushed her down even farther until his entire erection disappeared in her mouth.

Robert groaned loudly, gripping the wheel and her hair tighter. She began to pull back, all the way to the tip, only to slide her lips down again. Finding it harder to drive, he slowed even more. As Jeanette pumped up and down, she massaged his balls, rubbing and squeezing lightly. Robert took his foot off the gas all together, looking for a place to stop.


He found what he was looking for: a dirt drive, almost hidden amongst the trees. He followed it a ways, back into the woods, until he came to a small clearing. He stopped the car, turned off the engine and leaned back in his seat, enjoying the feel of her lips and mouth on his manhood.

Jeanette started moving faster, taking all of him. He watched himself slide in and out of her mouth, such a beautiful sight. He felt the stirring of release building within him. He was squirming in the seat, holding her head in his hands, her hair tangled in his fingers. Robert watched as he disappeared in her mouth, again and again, his erection glistening with her saliva. God, her mouth felt wonderful on him. Unable to contain himself any longer, Robert pushed into her as hard as he could, letting out a growl, filling her mouth with his essence.

Jeanette took all he had to give, not spilling a single drop, and licked him clean. She held him in her mouth for a time, feeling him beginning to grow soft, but knowing she had the power to make him hard again and again. When his breathing returned to normal, she started to caress him with her lips once again. Almost instantly, he began to swell.

His hands wandered from her hair down to her back, around her side, over her hip and back up again. Robert wanted badly to see her naked body in the sunlight, to feel her with his hands and taste her again.


He pulled her up off of him and, looking into her eyes, kissed her passionately, tasting himself on her lips, feeling the softness of her mouth with his. His tongue parted her lips, insisting on exploring her inner warmth. He thought first of her mouth and later, of other, more intimate regions. Jeanette moaned softly, pulling him tightly into her embrace. He wanted badly to lay her on the seat and make love to her, but knew that there was not enough room to move around like he wanted. "Get out of the car," he told her.

Robert reached into the back seat, retrieved a blanket, walked to the front of the car and spread it on the hood. He reached out for her and Jeanette stepped into his embrace, loving the feel of his body as he pulled her close. He kissed her again, taking his time to taste every inch of her mouth before pulling back slightly to kiss her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. He traced his tongue along the line of her jaw, kissing and caressing her face with his mouth. His hands played across her back, massaging, lightly squeezing her, his hands drifting down to cup both her cheeks, pulling her even closer.

Jeanette could feel the contours of his body, every curve, every bulge, especially the one pressing into her most intimate place. Robert was so very hard again, and she was on fire for him. He tugged her short skirt down over her hips, then her top came off over her head and Jeanette was left standing in nothing but her bra and panties. Robert loved the way the white lace looked against her smooth skin.

"Turn around," he said softly. Jeanette turned to face the car.


Robert stepped directly behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders, and began a torturously slow exploration of her body with his hands and mouth. He kissed her shoulders, the back of her neck, then let his fingertips glide down her back to the top of her lacy panties. He massaged her cheeks through the cloth and moved his hands around to her front. He pulled the full length of her body against his, pressing his lips to her neck once again. His hands moved upward to cup both her breasts, bringing a moan from her.

Jeanette pushed her lace-covered bottom tightly against his rock hard erection. Robert gently squeezed her breasts through the lace, feeling her nipples straining to be free of their confinement. He was glad to oblige, undoing the hook and letting the wisp of lace fall away. Jeanette kept pushing herself against him, moaning softly, as he thoroughly massaged her breasts, finally taking the hard sensitive nipples in his fingers and squeezing. She groaned loudly, melting into him.

Trying to keep his control, Robert backed away from her a bit and told her to bend over and put her hands on the hood of the car. She quickly obliged. This was of no help to his composure, seeing Jeanette bent over, nothing covering her cheeks but a thin strip of white lace. Kneeling behind her, Robert placed his hands on her hips and let them roam over her bottom, pausing at her thighs, and continuing down the entire length of her legs.


Jeanette wiggled with anticipation as he reached for the top of her panties and began ever-so-slowly to pull them down over her hips, kissing and licking the exposed flesh. He moved his mouth slowly down her legs, licking his way down, kissing the sensitive places behind her knees. Lifting her feet, first one, then the other, he removed her panties.

Jeanette felt as if she would faint when Robert spread her legs and placed his tongue on her inner thigh. He brushed his fingers over her, touching her with his tongue, causing her to shiver. Pushing her thighs further apart, he finally touched the tip of his tongue to her already swollen lips, tasting the wetness that was beginning to drip from her.

Her cries of pleasure mixed with the sounds of birds singing in the trees as he entered her with his tongue, licking up the moisture, inhaling her natural perfume. Her knees were getting weaker as he licked and sucked her lips, moving up the crease between her cheeks, lightly nipping with his teeth, causing her to quiver and beg him to take her.


Robert was determined to take his time, to bring her to the brink again and again, then give her the most intense release possible. He licked his way back to the entrance between her hot lips and slipped his tongue in once again as far as he could. Another loud cry escaped Jeanette and she pushed back against him. He held her firm and moved his mouth further towards her love button, using the tip of his tongue to lick all around without actually touching it.

Panting, gasping for breath, Jeanette begged him to give her the release she wanted so badly, but Robert continued his slow, methodical consumption of her, getting more aroused by the minute. He finally touched her delicate bud with his tongue and sucked it between his lips, tugging lightly on it. He could feel her orgasm rising to the surface, so he pulled away, stepping back from her.

Jeanette stood and turned toward him, reaching to pull him to her. He backed her against the hood of the car, kissed her passionately and pushed her down onto the hood.

She lay back, feeling the warmth of the car on her back through the blanket, the warm sun beating down on her naked body. Robert quickly shed his clothes and leaned over her, again tasting her sweet mouth, caressing her breasts, feeding the smoldering fire that was inside her.


Jeanette grasped his head in her hands and pulled his mouth to her breasts. He nibbled first one hard nipple, then the other. Finally, unable to contain his need of her any longer, Robert placed the tip of his straining member at the hot, wet entrance between her legs, rubbing it back and forth along her lips, covering himself with her juices. With a single, swift thrust, he was inside her. Jeanette cried out, writhing beneath him, pushing her hips upward to meet his as he began moving within her, trying to go slowly, but finding it impossible to hold back.

The sun, the birds, the warm afternoon breezes; all of this went unnoticed as he slid himself in and out of her, both of them lost in each other, consumed by the passion.

Moving faster now, feeling her orgasm rising once again, as well as his own, Robert stood, pulling Jeanette to the edge of the hood so that he was standing between her legs. He lifted her legs, placed her feet at his shoulders and slid even deeper inside her. Her whimpers turned into cries of intense, almost painful pleasure as an exquisite orgasm overtook Jeanette. Her contracting feminine muscles gripped Robert tightly again and again, sending him over the edge with her. Robert filled her once again with his manly juices.

Clinging to each other, gasping for breath, savoring the feel of each other, they remained joined for some time. Slowly they became aware of their peaceful surroundings, of the warm sun, and the breezes lightly caressing, cooling their bodies. Robert released her legs, pulled Jeanette to him and held her tenderly.


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