The Dear Gill letters (6)

The lady of the house is revolting...

Dear God, sometimes I just get so hopping mad, you know. I wish I was a student or something so I could go out and break things! Go back to my uni days when we could sit around and smoke pot and sing protest songs!

Since Dave got the 'big job' - that's what we call it because sometime it's just so shitty! - I've been trussed up in Downing Street like a turkey. I mean, the place is positively claustro-bloody-phobic. And it gets worse...Every time I go out, there's a policeman with me with a gun in his pocket. Either that or he's just pleased to see me, which wouldn't be so bad if he looked even remotely sexy! Oh lummy - I'm even beginning to envy Alan Johnson's missus...

Seriously, though, did you see that silly billy Sally in the papers? Old Bercy must have really pee'd her off for her to do that. I wonder what Dave would say if I did something like that, not that I would of course. No-one would want to look at my stretch marks, eh? Not quite so 'Glam Sam' after all...

I'm going to be hitting the big 4-0 in April though of course I'm only admitting to 35, so Dave wondered how I'd like to mark the occasion. I'd quite like a party but Dave says we've got enough trouble with the one we've got haha! Anyway, can you imagine the problems we'd have deciding who to put on the guest list and who to leave off? Actually, that could be quite fun come to think of it!

Plan B has gone out of the window as well as we've had to drop the idea of a romantic cruise up the Nile, bugger it. I really fancied a peek at old King Tut's des res but that's not going to happen now is it? And I know your sense of humour, so don't suggest Tunisia either or lunch is definitely orf next week, yah!

So it looks like a quiet romantic dinner somewhere if we can sneek out of the back door - or tunnel actually, but shhh - don't tell anyone. Nancy came out with a cracker, though. She thought Daddy could buy me some of that woodland that they're selling off and that it would be cool to go for nice long walks in it at weekends. Isn't that sweet? But then of course Arthur reminded her that Grandad already has several thousand acres of his own, and the moment passed rather.

Like I said, sometimes I could just throw something!