Ed Miliband wins it!

 Today's lesson is taken from the book of Genesis, Labour Party edition...

1. In the time of the gathering, Ed presented himself to the conference as an offering to the Party. And David also presented himself.
2. The Party had regard for Ed's offering, but they did not have regard for David's offering. David was furious, and he was downcast and his face fell.
3. Then the Party sayeth unto David , "Why art you furious? And why art you downcast? Why hast thy face fallen?
4. If you do right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must master it." 
5. And David said unto his brother Ed "Let's go out back unto mine gaff for a beer."
6. And while they were there, David attacked his brother Ed and killed him.
7. Then the Party said to David , "Where is your brother Ed?"
8. "I know not," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
9. Then the Party said, "Why have you done this thing?"
10. And David answered, "My loss was too great to bear never to sit again in shadow cabinet for my brother forgives me not for challenging him."

 Here endeth the lesson....